I'm just gonna say it, I hate this episode. A lot. I know it's got a few iconic moments in it (the classic "It's....green" comes from here) but the episode is just a mess. Being dark and somber and then flipping the switch to light and silly. I know I complained in "A Private Little War" that it was depressing but at least they kept that tone through the episode! Unlike other episodes, I am pretty sure I will not change my mind on this one.
Plot:Extragalactic aliens hijack the Enterprise and turn the crew into inert solids, leaving the four senior officers on their own to exploit their captors' weaknesses.
Guest Stars:Warren Stevens as Rojan, Barbara Bouchet as Kelinda
Nitpick:The best part is watching Uhura and Chekov reduced to cubes. And of course we never see them restored. And to be fair, the death of the Yeoman Thompson is a pretty intense scene with her being turned into a cube and crushed, and ending with Kirk's devastated reaction as he hovers over the remains.
Summary:
Teaser-Responding to a distress a call a landing party beams down to investigate. Two aliens appear and calmly tell Kirk to surrender the Enterprise. Using a paralysis field the landing party is frozen, and the alien named Rojan explains that he is now their commander and will bring him and his people out of the galaxy forever.
Act 1-The crew are released and Kirk wants to know what they want. Rojan says they want the ship, they have a long voyage home to the Andromeda Galaxy. The Kelvan empire sent them to search for a race to conquer, and while Kirk protests the Enterprise is quickly taken over thanks to the paralysis field. Kirk is unable to fight them. Rojan says they will modify their engines so that the trip will only take 300 years. Rojan explains they lost their ship in the energy barrier in the middle of the galaxy, but now they have the Enterprise. Kirk offers Federation assistance but Rojan says they do not colonize, they conquer. The crew are placed in a holding area, and Spock uses his telepathic powers to escape. However, it doesn't work and Rojan decides Kirk must be taught a lesson. He takes two officers and using his belt turns them into dehydrated porous cuboctahedron solids. The solids are all the basic minerals that make up a person condensed down. Rojan destroys one of the cubes saying that person is dead, however the other is still alive and can be restored. Which he does, but Kirk is heartbroken over the lady who lost her life.
Act 2-Back in the holding cell Spock confirms the Kelvans have adopted human form, there real form is very different. Kirk suggests another plane to jam the paralysis field, but they need to get back to the ship. Using a mind trick, Spock pretends he is sick and McCoy convinces the Kelvans to beam them both up. This once again goes nowhere. On the planet, Kirk flirts with Kelinda and explains what a rose by any other name is. Soon the Enterprise is on its way to Andromeda with the Kelvans in charge. Rojan lets Kirk stay in his char as they approach the great barrier. Scotty and Spock have determined that stopping the paralysis field is impossible, so they have another idea. A self destruct trigger to use at the barrier. The Kelvans will be stopped, and so will they.
Act 3-Kirk refuses to issue the order, and the ship passes through the barrier. With the ship well underway, Rojan announces he will turn most of the crew into cubes as they are non essential. Uhura, Chekov, and then the whole crew is transformed. Rojan then says he knew what Spock and Scotty's plan was and tells Kirk to accept his situation. It seems Kirk, Spock, Scotty and McCoy are the only officers that the Kelvans deem as "essential". The four discuss the situation when a Kelvan walks in, confused by the human need to ingest solids. McCoy tells him to give it a try, and when he does he seems enjoy it. Spock comments that the Kelvans have no concept of how their human bodies work in terms of feelings and sensations. Kirk realizes that if they can stimulate there senses thet may be able to distract them. Scotty takes the first step by taking one Kelvan to his quarters to drink some alcohol. McCoy takes another and starts pumping him full of stimulants to make him edgy. Kirk works on Kelinda, first by apologizing for their escape attempt earlier. He politely kisses her, and she resists at first but admits she likes it. Meanwhile Spock works on making Rojan jealous of the time Kirk is spending with Kelinda. Rojan goes to Kelinda and orders her not to spend time with Kirk. It turns into an argument with Rojan even grabbing her in anger.
Act 4-McCoy's stimulants are making the Kelvan irritable as he fights with Rojan on the Bridge. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy meet for a progress report wondering where Scotty is. Yes I know, I am intentionally not referring to the Scotty scenes. Kelinda interrupts them to ask for another "apology". They kiss, more passionately, while Spock gets Rojan so jealous he becomes incensed. Scotty makes the Kelvan pass out, just before he does also. Rojan storms in on Kendra and Kirk, demanding they stay away from each other. Kirk and Rojan end up fighting, with Kirk taunting him about how human he is acting. Kirk points out how human he is being and when they ship reaches the empire they wont even be recognized. Kirk points out his mission was to find new worlds to live in, they can do that where they were when they they met them. Rojan is suddenly all on board, funny he didn't seem at all interested before. Let's end this; Rojan surrenders the ship back to Kirk and the episode is mercifully over.
Final Thoughts:I still hate this episode. And not just because of the tone shift, the whole story falls apart in the second half and just becomes stupid. These aliens are overpowering in the start and turn into cartoons by the end. The first half has some real drama and isn't bad, even if it is dark. But after the crew are turned into cubes the whole thing is just an unwatchable mess. The plan to "stimulate" the Kelvans goes to fasst and I'll just say it, I hate the bit with Scotty getting he Kelvan drunk it's stupid. One positive is Shatner, you can really feel Kirk's heartache in this one. Maybe if they cut the planet stuff down and the ending was less rushed, and taken seriously, the episode may have worked. As it is...meh.
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