The 80's had an obsession with TV reunion movies. The
Incredible Hulk, for instance, had several films. They were all cheesy but
passable. They featured Daredevil and Thor, and the last one killed the
character off! But it wasn’t alone. Dallas,
The Millions Dollar Man, Murder She Wrote. Columbo, Perry Mason, and Gunsmoke
(just to name a few) also had reunion films. The thing is, these are
action/drama shows which kind of had a movie feel to them already. Making them
a two hour tv movie wasn't much of a stretch.
But when they tried to do this with sitcoms...well, it
doesn't work so well. Some were ok, like Return to Mayberry, which was an Andy
Griffith Show reunion. There were a bunch of Gilligan's Island reunions, I saw
one and it was ok. Never saw the Harlem Globetrotter one, so can’t comment on
it. But usually these were bad, and today I wanted to talk about five just
plain horrible one’s. Some of these are reunions, and some are films which the
cast filmed while the series was still in production. But they are all
horrible.
#5. Facts of Life Down Under
This is on here because this film was chock full of
cliche's. First I should mention that this was the second movie. Facts of Life in
Paris aired a few years earlier, and I never saw it. However I did hear good
things about it. I did get to see this film. To be fair, it wasn't all bad. It
did feel like the show. The reason they go to Australia is weak. The problem is
the plot involving a jewel heist that Blaire and Jo get involved in. What? This
kind of plot was lame and became a big cliche. I mean, what kind of stupid idea
is this? Talk about ignoring the premise of the source material! Despite that
this movie could have been worst. I mean, it’s not as if NBC would do another sitcom
TV movie like with an even crazier plot, right?
#4. Project ALF
I did not hate this. Yeah, I said it. I did not hate this.
Oh, it's stupid and has its problems but overall it wasn't as idiotic as the
other examples here. After the way the series ended, fans were due a movie
which explained just what happened to Alf. Why it took six years and aired on a
different network is beyond me. There are two major problems with this. One is
that The Tanner family is missing, which is just all kinds of dumb. The second
problem is that Martin Sheen is in this. What the heck was he thinking
appearing this crap? That being said, it was still ALF. The same character we
watched and loved for four years. And they didn’t forget the series took place
entirely. Not great but not all bad either.
#2.I Dream of Jeannie-15 Years Later
Oh, the pain! I should say first if all I Dream of Jeannie
was never a favorite of mine. I've seen it but always preferred Bewitched.
Still, I was intrigued when this little film came along. First of all, Larry
Hagman did not reprise his role from the series. That should have shut the
project down right there. The plot is a convoluted one involving Jeannie's evil
sister, but I am going jump ahead to the end. How does it end? Jeannie has to
go away and make all erase all memory of her, their son, and marriage from
Tony. What??? Even not being a serious fan I was appalled by this film, it was
just terrible. They tried again a few years later with “I Still Dream of
Jeannie”, and while that film was better it still kind of sucked.
#2.Family Ties Vacation
Aw crap. There are so many things
wrong with this. First, to be fair, the basic idea sounds reasonable. I can buy
that Alex got a scholarship or whatever to Oxford. I can buy that the whole
family went along, why not? Too bad the execution was horrible. First of all,
Alex is just so out of character in this. I have read this whole film was
rushed and I believe it. Why does Alex turn into a klutzy wimp? But as bad as
that, it's not the worst thing in this film. The major plot involves a
microfilm being chased by soviet spies that the Keaton’s unknowingly got a hold
of. Soviet spies? Really? Of course the spies are bumbling clods and the whole
thing ends with a chase through the streets of London. It's just so lame, and I
picked on Alex but the truth is none of the characters are really in character
here. Facts of Life Down Under still kind of felt like the show, this does not.
Since it is a movie we lose the laugh track and that combined with the unusual
locale just make it a very off experience indeed.
#1. The Brady 500
This is cheating a little, but let me explain. A Very Brady
Christmas was an enormous hit in 1988. It was, and still is, one of my favorite
Christmas movies. So it only stood to reason a new movie should be made. In
fact, plans were to have two movies. The first was The Brady 500. Before I talk
about that, I should explain that some executive had the brilliant idea to make
the two movies into a series, with a couple other episodes to fill the order.
The Brady Bunch back on TV? What could go wrong with that? So the plot of the
movie is that Bobby is in a serious accident while race car driving and is
paralyzed........Hold it! This is THE BRADY BUNCH, right? That silly light
hearted show from the 70's? WHO DECIDED TO MAKE IT A DRAMA???? I don't want to see Carol crying and the
family depressed! WTF??? This was one of
the worst ideas ever, and to top it all off they scheduled this at 8:00 on
Friday...opposite Full House! This whole thing was like a nightmare, and just
did not feel like the original show at all. In case you're wondering, the
second movie involved Mike winning and election for something, I stopped caring
by then, and that didn't really make much sense to me. By the way, "The
Brady's" also had Greg and Peter get into a fistfight, turned Marcia into
an alcoholic, Jan unable to have children. Stop! Maureen McCormick was the only
cast member to not participate, and my respect for her has no bounds. By the
way, if you’re wondering about “The Brady Bunch Goes to Washington”….we don’t
talk about that.
The 90's also had Blossom in Paris and a few Sabrina, the
Teenage Witch movies. Mary & Rhoda just barely made the list, a horrible
Mary Tyler Moore Show reunion. Growing Pains had two; one was decent the other
sucked. While not a sitcom I figured I should also mention The Dukes of Hazard
which had two. I only saw the first, and it was ok. One of the worst I ever saw
was Knight Rider 2000….dear lord did that suck!
Thankfully though this trend has died out, you don’t see as
many of these anymore. Which is good because these hardly ever work.
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