July 8, 2013

Top 5 All-Time Favorite Movie Jerks

I decided to push my game show week off till next week. With the holiday and not feeling well the articles aren't quite ready yet. But since I wanted to have something for you guys, here is a little list  I cobbled together. Enjoy!

All good movies have villains, those bad people who are determined to get what they want no matter who or what gets in the way. But today I wanted to talk about the jerks. These are bullies or other characters that are only here to aggravate our heroes and get us pissed off. They are annoying and drive us crazy,  and usually are here only to complicate the situation for our heroes. The thing is we love to hate these guys especially when they get their well deserved comeuppance at the end.

Here are my five favorites. These are from the 80's and 90's because, well, I don't call it 80's and 90's Central for nothing  :)

#5.Secretary of State Nimzki (Independance Day)

I hated this guy, I mean the way he prosecuted Jerry,George, Kramer, and Elaine was just....oh, sorry that was Seinfeld. Is James Rebhorn ever a good guy? Anyway in this movie he is the wimpy Secretary of State who keeps secrets even though it cost the lives of hundreds of pilots, argues with the president over everything, and thinks nuclear weapons are the one and only answer. This guy was a real jerk, and the scene where he is finally fired by Bill Pullman's president is one of my favorite moments of the film. Partly because it's a good character moment for the president, but also because he finally puts this whiny weasel in his place.

#4.Stuckey (PRETTY WOMAN)

How does Pretty Woman, a silly Gary Marshall rom com,actually have a fist pumping scene in it (for me anyway?) I hated Jason Alexander's character in this movie. He was a sleezy jerk who was only interested in money. But I think what makes this work isn't so  much how much I hated him, but how much I loved Julia Roberts as Vivian. You really grow to like her by the end, so when Stuckey makes an agressive move to rape her you're hoping Richard Gere appears to stop him. Of course, he does and I LOVE the scene where Richard Gere punches him. I cheered (and my father looked at me like I was crazy, never forgotthat). And then Gere chews him out which is even better! When Seinfeld came onI breifly hated George because I hated his character here so much. But of course on the series he was a lovable loser, in this movie was a slimy sleezeball.

#3.Richard Thorburg (DIE HARD)

Everyone talks about the action, John McLean, and just how awesome this movie is! I lovec it as much as anyone. You know what was one of the most memorable parts for me? That damn reporter! I HATED this guy, and when he got punched in the end it was one of the best moments ever! If you've never seen the movie, the reporter in this movie is a jerk who gets in the way of the plot. The worst thing he does is bascially break into John McClane's home to interview his kids, harassing the maid and scaring the kids to death. Not to mention TIPPING THE FACT THAT HOLLY IS JOHN'S WIFE, AND HE HAS KIDS! Nice job jerk, now the villain has something to barter with! All is good in the end, and this guy was such a popular jackass he came back in the second movie. Which I don't remember as well. Of course William Atherton has made a career playing jerks, including the obnoxious Walter Peck in Ghostbusters who really should be on this list now that I think about it.

#2.Biff Tannen (Back to the Future, 1st only)

How could I forget my all-time favorite bully? Before he was turned into the straight up villain in the sequel, this guy was just an obstacle for our hero to overcome. We see him hitting on Lorraine even though she clearly has nointerest. Then he is abusive to George for no apparent reason. Then he tries torun Marty down in his car...nice! Thomas F Wilson did a fantastic job making Biff charming because of how stupid he really he is, messing up catch phrases and acting without thinking. But of course the best part is the end, where one of my favorite, if not THE favorite, moments of comeuppance happens. Youall know it, but in case you don't I will explain. After George has interupted Biff trying to rape Lorraine (gee, kind of dark) Biff has George's arm twisted back while Lorraine's attempt to stop get her thrown onto the ground.He is laughing hysterically. So George, in one of the best character moments in any movie, rallies his strength, forms a fist, and nails Biff right in the face. The scene is fantastic, and I don't care how many times I have seen this movie I love it every single time! The best part is that it is George who beats him, this makes sense since he was really George's nemsis. This all gets undone in the sequel, but that is a subject for another day.

#1 Ed Rooney (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

This movie has no real "villain". Ferris isn't battling anyone or anything (except possibly social convention). Ever notice he doesn't mention Rooney once? And by the way. Ed Rooney isn't a villain really. Think about it, all he wants to do is make sure the students he watches over are not corrupted by Ferris and they can be all they can be. But the way he does it, he comes off as a bully. He has good intentions but is really just a big jerk. I mean stalking Ferris, harassing people,breaking and entering the parents’ house, and doing other things that would at least get him fired. It is just so much fun hating him as he gleefully talks about taking Ferris down. This movie does a good job of keeping us liking Ferris and hating Ed, because in another movie Ferris would be the bad guy and Ed the hero! But Matthew Broderick's charm wins out and Jeffrey Jones sliminess is just perfect. And it is one of my favorite moments of comeuppance in any movie. This guy gets his car towed, he gets stuck in some mud, attacked by a dog, and kicked,yes kicked!, in the face three times! And then he gets attacked by the dog again! The scene were Jeannie tosses his wallet into the mud is a great moment and not only a fitting end for Rooney but a solid way of ending her character arc. Simply put, watching this guy suffer is one of the best parts of the movie, and I have seen it many times.

Of course there are plenty of others I could have chosen.Who is your favorite movie jerks?


  1. Let's see... I would throw all of the villains/bullies from the Karate Kid movies on as honorable mentions. I do think the ones from the first movie need to be on the list.

    I think Biff should have been number 1 though. The guy who plays him gets to virtually play the same character in all three movies.

    1. I did this in order of who got the biggest comeuppance, and Ed wins that award. As for Karate Kid I hated them but not in that "love to hate" way, I just hated them. I only saw that movie once as a kid.