Analytical Episode Guide-Seinfeld (Season 5, Part 3)

An Analytical Episode Guide to:

Season 5, Part 3

Episode 11, Season 5

The Conversion

 

Plot Summary-When a woman dumps George because he does not share her religion, George decides to convert to win her affection. Elaine is dating a proctologist while Jerry tries to figure out why his new girlfriend has fungicide in her medicine cabinet. Kramer unintentionally attracts a nun, and works to find a cure for the way he attracts women.

Best Quote-“So, I guess this one is my fault?”…..Elaine after accidentally talking George into changing religions

Nitpick of the episode- I always had trouble accepting George would go to such lengths to keep a girl.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Kramer has the Kavorca, or “lure of the animal”

Deleted Scenes-More conversation with Jerry and his girlfriend, an alternate ending where Elaine’s boyfriend indentifies the ointment. Another alternate ending where Jerry is rushing his girlfriend to a vet while Elaine’s guy finds the ointment and storms out.  Of course the ending they went with had the boyfriend come across the ointment in the medicine cabinet and no resolution to the cat story.

Episode Fun Fact-There really is a religion called Latvian Orthodox, a fact unknown to the writer when he wrote this episode.

Final Thoughts-Pretty good episode. The discussion about opening medicine cabinets is kind of clever. Of course, George goes to all this trouble just to have it not work out. It would have been nice if his girlfriend had mentioned her trip to Latvia and the fact that she wasn’t ready to settle down when she was breaking up with him. Of course if she had, we would have had no episode. Elaine’s story is really just to support Jerry’s, it’s really pointless.  Judging by the alternate endings and the way this episode was cut up and re shot, I get the feeling they just didn’t know how to end this one. Kramer’s story is pretty good, how does he always attract women the way he does? Finally, an answer!

Grade=B-, not bad but the ending sort of falls apart. This episode was re shot and cut up, and it shows

Episode 12, Season 5

The Stall

 

Plot Summary-Elaine is out of toilet paper but the woman in the next stall refuses to give her any. The woman named Jane is Jerry’s new girlfriend, who has a boring job she won’t talk about. Kramer is hooked on phone sex while George has a man crush on Elaine’s new boyfriend, who is hurt rock climbing with George and Kramer.

Best Quote-“You cannot judge a person in a situation like that, I mean it’s like asking for someone’s cantine in the desert. Its battle conditions”….Jerry

Nitpick of the episode-Totally agree with Elaine on this one. How would Jane have felt if her position were reversed? As we see at the end, not happy! I realize it’s a bit awkward, I would feel awkward to, but give the girl a break and help her out! The downside to this is that right from the start, we don’t like her.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Elaine doesn’t have a square to spare; she is also dating a male bimbo or “mimbo”

Deleted Scenes-A scene with Elaine and her boyfriend rock climbing was thankfully removed. In the scene her boyfriend breaks up with her because she has a pimple and leaves her on the rock. Stupid.

Episode Fun Fact-Obviously, the rock climbing scene was done on a fake wall against a blue screen. We also get to see Jerry working at his computer for a change.

Final Thoughts-This episode is weak, I mean is the ending any surprise when we find out that the girl Kramer talked to on the sex line and Jane are one in the same? The show acts like it’s such a shock but it’s as predictable as it gets. What happens to Elaine’s boyfriend isn’t funny, and yes it was all George’s fault so I sure can’t blame the guy for hating George afterward. Kramer’s story is flimsy, and Elaine has the only good moment in the end when she finally has her revenge. Seinfeld is remarkable, how many shows will actually have a scene with two women talking to each other in two stalls while going to the bathroom? Despite that some and a few cute cute lines like Elaine's boyfriend telling people to step off (private reason why I like that one), this episode falls flat on its face.

Grade=C, this episode tries but fails at almost every level

Episode 13, Season 5

The Marine Biologist

 

Plot Summary-Elaine gets an assignment working with a famous Russian author, but Kramer’s organizer keeps beeping causing the author to throw it out the window. The organizer hits a woman in the head and she seeks out Jerry to track down the owner. Kramer hits golf balls in the ocean while George has to convince a woman he is a marine biologist thanks to a lie Jerry told her about how he works with whales.

Best Quote-Of course the best quote in this episode is the final speech by George. I am not going to attempt to rewrite it here, if you don’t know it seek the episode out. It’s a classic and done very, very well. Great moment and one of the biggest laughs of the series.

Nitpick of the episode-I think George should have just been honest with his girlfriend right up front. He could have just blamed Jerry, and that would have then that. By not doing that he becomes a big liar, which is why she dumps him.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Jerry tells Elaine that War and Peace was supposed to be called “War, what is it good for?”

Deleted Scenes-George’s phone call with his girlfriend was longer, we see Newman in another scene which explains his brief appearance in the episode, and more with the Russian author.

Episode Fun Fact-Michael Richards hates golf, Kramer got his love of golf from Larry David. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss was very sick during the filming of this episode.Originally there was going to be a fake whale in the episode and one was also created in post production, but Larry David finally realized we didn’t need to actually see the whale.

Final Thoughts-What can I say about the final scene in this episode? It is one of the best the series did, flat out. Ok, it’s farfetched and a bit hard to believe….but it’s still great! It’s funny to watch George get trapped in a lie that he didn’t make up. Kramer seems to have almost no story, until the end when we find out he is the reason for the whale beaching that George went out to save. Not sure why Elaine would believe Jerry’s story about how War and Peace got its name, but I’ll buy it. Her story is ok, but why no resolution? We never find out what happened with the organizer or the women who got hit with it. Jerry’s only story is lamenting on his t-shirt golden boy. If it’s his favorite how come we never saw him wearing it?

Grade=A, just a classic

Episode 14, Season 5

The Dinner Party

 

Plot Summary-The four are en route to a dinner party, but a quick stop for wine and cake doesn’t go as planned when Kramer and George get doubled parked in their space while Jerry and Elaine have trouble getting the dessert they want.

Best Quote-“Hey, do you believe I got Happy New Year’d today? It’s February!”…Elaine, this is one of my favorites because I have been there

Nitpick of the episode-A few weeks ago I commented on how absurd it was that Kramer believed that Salman Rushdie was in the health club. In this episode we have George and Kramer believing the man who double parked is Saddam Hussein. This is even stupider!!! I mean, really? This wasn’t that long after the U.S. defeated Iraq in the Gulf War, who with any ounce of common sense would think Saddam Hussein, leader of Iraq, would just be walking around New York one afternoon? Then he has a British accent, and they’re still not sure! I realize this was supposed to tie into the discussion Kramer and George have on dictators it’s just so stupid! These characters aren't morons but they had to make them that so the joke would work. Joke still doesn't work.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Jerry explains how everyone loves Cinnamon, saying it should be on tables at restaurants. This episode introduced the world to Chocolate Babka’s.

Deleted Scenes-None for this episode.

Episode Fun Fact-The double parker is voiced, once again, by Larry David

Final Thoughts-Overall, I enjoyed the episode. Yeah, the Saddam Hussein thing is as dumb as it gets but that’s ok. The ending of the episode is one of my favorites, as the frustrated friends finally make it to the party but are so worn out they give the host her wine and cake, and promptly turn and leave! Clever ending. We get more whining from George on endless gift giving only this time it is more about the rule that says if you are invited to someone’s house you have to bring something, Well, duh. George suggests Pepsi, yeah that would work. We also get Jerry and Elaine complaining they didn’t get a number upon entering the bakery, Jerry’s thoughts on the black and white cookie, George and his $100 bill, the end of Jerry’s vomit streak, George and Kramer discussing how dictators get started by being double parkers, and we see a hint of Elaine’s dark side which will be expanded later in the series. This episode is lots of cute lines jammed together, and for me it works. The only down side is the episode doesn’t go anywhere in the physical sense, and staying in the bakery and the liquor store for most of the episode somehow feels confining.

Grade=B, Not terrible but not great either.

Episode 15, Season 5

The Pie

 

Plot Summary-Jerry is perplexed when girlfriend won’t try his pie for any reason. Later when she takes him to her father’s restaurant, he refuses to eat there. She thinks its revenge, but it has more to do with her father’s bathroom habits. Kramer has an itch he can’t get rid of, Elaine discovers a mannequin which looks just like her at a store George tries to buy a discount suit at for a job interview. The suits makes an odd noise which George fears will cost him a job.

Best Quote-“It’s like some pot landed from a different planet and took your body. Don’t fall asleep Elaine”….George

Nitpick of the episode-Well, may as well go with the obvious. What in the heck was the reason Jerry’s girlfriend refused the pie? Like the later episode with the woman who wore the same dress every day, this is one curiosity I can’t blame Jerry for obsessing about.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Poppie has been a little sloppy, also that unique head nod when refusing to try food.

Deleted Scenes-A longer opening, and the scene where Jerry confronts his girlfriend on the pie she ate was longer.

Episode Fun Fact-The 1994 Northridge Earthquake interrupted the shooting of this episode. The earthquake seriously damaged the stage Seinfeld was shot on and it took three weeks to repair. The show almost moved but the studio scrambled to get the stage fixed, and as a reward for Seinfeld staying they created a formal New York Street which would be seen for the first time the next season. Will talk more about that in a few weeks.

Final Thoughts-First of all, the scene where Poppie comes out of the bathroom and just walks out without washing his hands is hilarious! Very well done moment and Jerry handles it perfectly. I never liked Kramer’s story, sure the mugging is funny but the story is very boring. Elaine’s story about the mannequin is really funny, and has a great payoff. Turns out the mannequins are being made by the creepy guy Elaine met on the subway a few episodes ago. George also finally gets the chance to win one, not only does he get the suit but he avoids the revenge set up by the man he was able to hide the suit from. Sure, it cost him a job in the process but George can never be completely successful, even when he wins he loses.

 Grade=B+

Episode 16, Season 5

The Stand-In

 

Plot Summary-Kramer and his new friend Mickey are stand-in’s for a soap opera. When the child Mickey is standing in for grows, Kramer pushes him to get some lifts for his shoes. George stays with a girl because a friend told her that George would break up with her. Jerry is determined to cheer up a hospital ridden friend. Elaine has a date with a friend of Jerry’s who does something peculiar during the date.

Best Quote-“Nobody put a gun to your head”….Kramer’s usual defense when his advice backfires horribly as it does in this episode.

Nitpick of the episode- I still can’t understand why Elaine’s date did what he did. It’s funny because it’s so well written, but it also doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Elaine explains that her date “took it out” for no apparent reason.

Deleted Scenes-None for this episode.

Episode Fun Fact-The first appearance of Kramer’s friend Mickey. Kramer and Mickey have great chemistry and it’s no wonder they brought him back several times

Final Thoughts-This is a tough one, this episode is funny but there is something off about it. I can’t explain it. The stuff with Mickey wearing lifts in his shoes gets dark. Of course wearing lifts are offensive, I could see that. As usual Kramer pushes him into it and then takes no responsibility when it blows up. The scene where it is revealed in front of everyone is funny but a little disturbing, Jerry’s story gets dark at the end when Fulton stops laughing abruptly, did Jerry kill him? George stays with a woman he hates to prove that someone else was wrong about him. That seems kind of mean. Then we have Elaine and her odd date. Hey, maybe that is the problem with this episode; it is just too dark even for Seinfeld. Thankfully it is well written.

Grade=C+, the episode feels oddly paced and, as noted, is a bit dark.