I hear groaning! I know, I know. This movie is about a corny
as you can get. It is pure 80's cheese. However, I grew up watching the Brady
Bunch. It was an idealized perfect family, and I loved it. I never understood
why the show is so mocked, what is wrong with seeing a happy family on TV? The
worst is when people make fun of Jan. FYI, you are doing an impression created
on Saturday Night Live, not how Eve Plum actually acted on the show. No wonder
she has nothing to do with this show today.
When this movie premiered in 1988 I was so excited. This was
before the internet, so I had no idea where these actors were or what they were
doing (today I can find out in seconds).
I will concede, as I get older I do understand why this is
so made fun of. It really is, well, corny. And the ending....but we'll get to
that. Let's take a look at this perennial holiday favorite (for me anyway).
The story begins and we see the typical Brady house. Mike and Carol (Robert Reed and Florence Henderson) are riding exercise bikes, when the subject of Christmas comes up. Carol then starts hinting for clues to her present. This was always her most annoying character trait, ever heard of being surprised Carol? Also, you’ve been married to this guy for 20 years now, and you don’t believe he will get you a nice gift?
Anyway, we get a good look at the 80's version of the Brady
home. I was always impressed that the creators realized that the idea the
Brady's could be living in the exact same house they did in the 70's is
preposterous. Of course, The Brady Bunch Movie did take that route but we're
not discussing that right now. After some flirting, Mike goes to work while
Carol calls the kids. This really gives us a chance to reintroduce the audience
to the children. We learn Mike and Carol are each planning trips to different
places.
After we get reintroduced to the children, the last one left is Alice. She arrives at the Brady house in tears because her husband has left her. True Brady fans have always hated this slap in the face to the Alice/Sam relationship and I totally agree. He always only had eyes for her, why would that change? They could have come up with some other reason to get Alice into the story. This idea was so bad the original actor who played Sam refused to even appear in this.
Ok, getting way off track. Carol and Mike try to book their trips at the same time. In a silly scene only The Brady Bunch could do, Carol panics when she finds out her money is gone until Mike pops up, revealing he was on the other side of the wall planning a trip too. I hate it when they make Carol stupid, and she is in this scene. They have a good laugh, and later that night decide rather than going on a big trip they will pay to bring all their kids home for Christmas.
Then we get into the kids problems. This will go faster if I break it down by kid, so here it is:
Greg is married to a woman who apparently doesn't care he
has a family. Even though they have been to her side a few years in a row, when
Greg reveals his parents plans to fly them in, for free, she still insists on
seeing her side. Greg ends up grabbing the kid and going without her. Yep,
she'd rather send her husband and child off and be without them on Christmas
because heaven forbid she disappoints her family. What did Greg see in her?
Marcia gets fired...no, wait. Her husband Wally gets fired from his job. He is embarassed and keeps it from the family. I always had a big question, why is Wally getting the story? Marcia was the character on the show, and here she just smiles while her husband gets the good scenes. Maureen McCormick must be the most understanding person in the world, I would have been pissed!
Peter is working somewhere out west, not sure exactly what he is doing. The important thing is he is dating a woman who is also his boss and makes more money than he does (dear god, no!). He loves making out with his girl at work, and worries about proposing to her. That’s really it, his story is boring but he and Bobby have a great scene later on so I won’t be too hard on him.
Jan is an architect, but her marriage is not doing so well. I have seen people commenting that Jan is a total bitch to her husband, but I don't see it that way. He sounds like a neglectful jerk and I think she had the right idea throwing him out. It does seem like she shoehorned into the script, but at least she has a plot thread! By the way, I always liked Jan.
Cindy is played by another actress in this, but that's ok. Her problem is that she is "told" not "asked" to come home for Christmas. She would rather go skiing with her friends. I always loved how Mike is the one who "told" her to come home, but Carol is the one who apologizes later. By the way, Cindy could have said no. It's more she is a wimp than her parents think of her as a child.
Bobby had the best problem. He has dropped out of college to be a race car driver. He doesn't want to tell his parents because they would freak. I never understood this; in the series the parents were always supportive. Oh sure, Carol would be a worry wart at times but always came around. Why doesn't he just explain things to them? They'll be cool, just like they are when he finally reveals this secret! Bobby has a low opinion of his parents.
Even with all these stories running around, there is one more. Mike is doing a job for a jerk named Ted Roberts. Even though Mike is a professional architect with literally years of experience, Roberts has decided he knows what's best and will not spend the money on the modifications Mike insists on. First he threatens Carol if she doesn't help. Obviously he doesn’t know Mike and Carol well or he’d know there is no way Carol would tell Mike what to do. Then Roberts makes his case again with Mike. Mike himself points out that he is doing what he was hired for, and when Roberts hints he will hire someone else, Mike tells him to f off in a subtle way. This is actually a great scene. This is one of the closest times we see the serious Mike from the TV show, rather than the goofy lovable Mike we get here. More on that in a bit.
The stories keep going for the first hour or so. We get some silly scenes, like one where Greg and his wife are arguing while a woman sits right there in labor. Greg is an OBGYN by the way, and the way he is ignoring the patient would get him thrown out in the real world. Thankfully, this isn't the real world.Then there is a montage showing Mike and Carol moving beds while Alice picks all the kids up. In case you haven't guessed, Alice is simply here for comic relief. How do I know? There is a scene after the family is reunited where Alice appears at the door with every single bag in her hands (and around her neck). Now, wouldn't the logical thing be to go into the house and ask the dozen other people to help with the bags? Of course if that happened, we'd get no funny site gag!
The scenes of the family are nice, let's be honest. This is The Brady's after all! They get the tree up and have some charming moments, until the story lines start up again. Basically the characters bounce their problems off each other until they all wind up eating two of Alice's pies in the middle of the night.
I need to ask, did these kids not learn anything during the series? Every episode a kid would have a problem, and they would need to talk it out. Here every one is keeping a secret from them (well, except Greg. His problem is his wife is a bitch). I realize they are adults, but wouldn't talking to their parents make sense? As we see, it would have.
The next scene is Mike solving the first problem; he gets Wally a new job. Then we see Carol helping to solve Jan's problem. When Jan confesses to her mother, it starts a dialogue between her and her husband Philip which ends with them having make-up sex (seriously!). Then we move to the dining room, where one by one Mike and Carol solve the other kid’s problems. Except for Greg, his problem is solved when his wife realizes she has been a bitch and arrives unannounced. It's weird, Greg and
Marcia were the coolest kids in the show and here they both get the short end of the stick. Greg's problem is barely a problem, and Marcia doesn't even get a story! She's just here to smile at Wally (I know, I already said that but this point really bothers me!)
Bobby gets support from his family for his decision, Peter decides to propose to his girlfriend, Cindy gets an apology from her seat at the kids table, and Alice starts a running gag where she is looking for the pies the kids ate the night before. Well, everything is solved and it looks like the movie is going to end happily with the family having Christmas dinner, all together. Wait, the movie's not over yet! The phone rings, and it turns out that Ted Roberts building has collapsed, around two security guards! Apparently Roberts felt bringing in the architect he fired would be the best solution. You know, rather than the proper authorities. Mike leaves his family and ends up caught in the building too when it caves in some more.
The family gathers and watches waiting for something to happen. The building inspectors have been called in and refuse to let anyone else inside. Nice that they arrived after Mike went in. The only good moment comes when Greg announces he is going in after Mike. He is stopped, but it’s nice to see Greg not act like a massive wimp for at least a moment in this thing. Cindy reminisces about the original Brady Bunch Christmas episode (with a scene featuring original Cindy Susan Olsen, which I always found amusing). They then start singing Oh Come All Ye Faithful, which somehow gives Mike the strength to escape the caved in building. They all embrace, and we see that the intersection the building was on was 34th and Oak Street. They actually have a reported say “This looks like another miracle on 34th Street”. I mean, does it get any cornier than that????
I gotta say, I hated that ending. With all the stories in this, why did they need that one? It spoils the whole movie. This was nice movie about a family gathering for Christmas, we didn’t need the “will he or won’t he make it” suspense. Yeah, they did this in some episodes too but I still stay they didn’t need it here.
We go back to the house, where Sam walks in and apologizes to Alice. She accepts, and the family gathers to sing to the audience. For some reason the very last shot is a cut back to the famous house, which always struck me as odd? Wouldn't it have been nicer to end on the cast together singing?
So, let's talk a second about the characters. The one that always bugged me was Mike. I know, Robert Reed was probably already starting to get sick at this point but his portrayal as Mike doesn't feel right through most of this. Once in a while, a glimmer of the original character shows. The best moment is when Bobby reveals his plans to be a race car driver. That is the old Mike, for a few seconds anyway.
The only other complaint I have is
Wally Logan. Why does he get so much screen time? He is so whiny and annoying,
and I really don't care about him. The other characters seem to be pretty good.
The kids are bratty but they feel more like normal kids than the Brady’s did
when they were that age.
Final thought? This special is corny and silly. If you were
not a diehard fan of the show, yeah you probably won't like this. If you were a
fan, then this is really good. A nice Christmas movie. A lot better than that horrible dramatic series
they came out with, which I am sure I will talk about at some point. I love it,
and will continue to watch it every year.
No comments:
Post a Comment