But this is almost five years later. Nothing is perfect, even Star Trek, and for all the greatness to come from this franchise there was plenty of bad too. Stuff that fans laugh at and even the creators are ashamed of, Today I wanted to present the absolute worst from each series (and movies and one other thing I want to mention, but we’ll get to that). While I am trying to be as universal as possible there is always the chance someone disagrees me and likes one or these episode, so as always this is just my opinion. I was going to limit this to one per series but every show seemed to have at least two, so I expanded it so now we have twelve. Compared to 115 great episode, twelve bad episode doesn’t seem that bad.
These are episode that are just bad, I can’t even defend them as “underrated” or anything Simply the worst of the worst……
TOS-The Way to Eden
When it comes to the original series there are lots of contenders. Some say Turnabout Intruder, but that is so bad it’s good in a bad movie kind of way. Some say And the Children Shall Lead but it’s still watchable for me. So what is the worst? The one episode that I can’t even sit through much less remember? This is the only one for me. I guess some give this a small pass because it was reflecting the times, that being the 60’s hippie movement. But I’m sorry that’s not a free pass, and this episode is just dreadful. Not only is it full of boring and pointless songs, the story is just so blah. And I’m not kidding I have watched this but can hardly remember a thing about it.
TOS-Spock’s Brain
Spock’s Brain was just a bad idea. The writer even took his name off of it. To be fair, the first ten minutes or so isn’t that bad. It sets up an interesting premise and the stakes feel high. Then the story gets sillier and dumber…yeah this is B movie stuff. Especially the end when Spock is able to communicate mid-operation and tells McCoy how to finish the job. Then Spock gets up without even a muss in his hair! Sure.
The Next Generation-“The Outrageous Okona”
A lot of people would put “Shades of Grey” here, and yeah that episode was a cheap ass clip show and sucked. But it was the end of the season and the writing strike hurt the show. “Up The Long Ladder” is a contender but there is good stuff in there, a little. “Code of Honor” is pretty much universally hated but it was the third episode so I can be forgiving. This episode just has no excuse for being as stupid as it is. How bad is it? The B story features Joe Piscopo as a comedian teaching Data to be funny. Do I need to continue? What about the story? It involves a sexist jerk named Okona and something about how he has been with different women…..and to be honest like “Way to Eden” all I remember is that the episode sucks.
The Next Generation-“Sub Rosa”
Yeah this is a surprise to no one As bad as Season 7 got, there is no other episode I hate more than “Sub Rosa”. How much do I hate it? I have seen it once. Only once. For some reason the creators decided to take a hand at Gothic romance which just does not fit into the Star Trek universe. It’s badly written, badly acted, and very wuickly forgtoten. While the creators have tried to defend this one Gates McFadden herself admitted it wasn’t that good, and made no sense.
Deep Space Nine-“Let He Who is Without Sin”
DS9’s was the hard choice because I haven’t seen every episode enough to really decide. Ok I saw “Heart of Stone” which counts as a bad episode but isn’t the absolute worst. I checked a couple lists and two episodes stood out. “Profit and Lace” and this one which…was just bad. The episdode is about the planet Risa and Dax and Worf dealing with more romance crap. Something went horribly wrong from concept to screen. What makes it the absolute worst for me? One simple thing. It looked bad in the trailer for pete’s sake! And I avoided the episode at first. But, I decided to try to watch it and see. Yeah…what the hell?
Deep Space Nine-“Profit and Lace”
So what happens in this episode anyway? Oh not much, Quark just gets to wear drag and pretend he’s a woman. Oh and when I say pretend to be a woman I am not just talking about the clothes. Yeah…enough said. There aren’t to many who are proud of this one.
Voyager-“Fair Haven”
What he heck was this?? The whole episode ste in a holographic Irish village? Janeway has an affair with one of the holographic characters? It got heated meaning that she…..er, I’d better not think to much about this one. The inexplicable follow up “Spirit Folk” isn’t much better. This was summed up by my now ex who never liked Star Trek..but she loved this episode. About says it all doesn’t it?
Voyager:”Threshold”
With TOS, TNG, and DS9 you can argue about my choices and say there were worst episodes out there than what I listed. But this one, is pretty universally agreed upon. Oh sure Voyager had it’s fair share of awful episodes, like that stupid one with Chakotay as a boxer. Or that stupid episode about Harry Kim having a forbidden romance. But This episode is so bad that the writer apologized for it, and it’s often considered non canonical. It really is dumb too, not only does it play fast and loose with things like evolution but Janeway and Paris turn into salamander’s, and then turn back in the next scene acting like it was mo big deal. Though it could be even the performers knew it was stupid so didn’t try very hard.
Enterprise:”A Night in Sick-Bay”
So hey, here’s an idea…how about a whole episode centered on Porthos and how much Archer loves him? Nah not bad enough. Why don’t we make this a bottle show, and have Archer sit in Sick-Bay with the always annoying Phlox for the whole time? Nah it needs something, how about we make Archer a jerk in the episode snapping at people because he is so worried about his dog? Yep, that all sounds like a pretty lame episode to me!
Enterprise:”These are the Voyages”
Yeah there are other awful episodes, like “Unexpected” where Tripp becomes pregnant. But I think this one has to count for being a complete and total failure. It’s almost more an episode of The Next Generation! Talk about missing what the fans wold want, Rick Berman called this a Valentines to the fans. Uh, no. It was a miss in pretty much every way, including the fact that it’s a terrible final episode of Enterprise. Love it or hate it, the show deserved a decent send off an not this leftover Next Generation nonsense. As I said before the one and only good thing in that episode was the last thirty seconds. I already discussed this at length, but yeah even having Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis on hand didn’t help this one.
Ok before I go let’s discuss two more things. Star Trek isn’t limited to TV, but with over 10 movies now which is the absolute worst?
Star Trek-Insureextion
So if you count all the movies, and yes that includes the re-boot movies except the newest because it’s not out yet, which is the worst? Star Trek V is bad but I can watch it in a bad movie kind of way. Star Trek Generations is a guilty pleasure because Kirk is freaking awesome in it. The Motion Picture is, well, ok….just bring your fast forward button with you when you watch. Star Trek III is a favorite of mine, it’s really underrated. No, for me the most boring and insipid Star Trek movie ever has to be Insurrection. It is just dull, and the script is so stupid I have no idea what they were thinking. I won’t get into the controversy here just watch SFDebris review he explained better than I could. It was just..awful, with all kinds of stupid things from an actual boob joke to the face stretching aliens to Riker using a freaking joystick to pilot the ship. A JOYSTICK?????? To top it all off it came out opposite Lord of the Rings. Brilliant! This movie killed the movie franchise until the reboot, oh sure Nemesis was still to come but that was contractually obligated. In my opinion, it all ended here.
So there was one final Star Trek related production that I had to talk about, even if it wasn’t a movie or episode. This was a special, a god awful special, simply called :
Why as this so bad? It was designed to celebrate the 30th anniversary, and they did so with a countdown picking the top moments of Star Trek in various categories. Sounds decent, what was the problem? The problem was the unbelievably lame framing device for this special. Ok, no pictures or video I have to try to describe this. Jason Alexander and two comedians are Kirk, Spock, McCoy on a mission in Los Angeles to track down what stopped the broadcast of Star Trek….and basically it;s corny jokes and schtick as these two run around in LA in silly costumes. Yeah sounds dumb when I type it to. I mean this was just bad, and was a slap in the fact more than it was a celebration. It is on video, if you can find a copy check it out.
Ok, I promise to take a little break from Star Trek after doing so much this past month. But this year is still the 50th anniversary so I’m pretty sure this wont be my last Star Trek article either.
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