I thought I would start what is sure to be a few articles
over the next month regarding Christmas. There are so many movies, TV shows, specials,
and songs that I can get into that I am sure I will not have time to cover
everything. That's cool, gotta save some stuff for next year. Let's talk today
about five Christmas movies I hated. Not saying that these are the worst, I am
sure there are worst out there. Also there are probably people who love them
and that's fine. I just hate them. I am limiting this to theatrical
releases.
#5. A Christmas Story. Hey, stop throwing things at me! I
know, this movie is a cult classic and has a very loyal following. It shows on
Christmas Day for 24 hours straight, and I have never met anyone who had
anything bad to say about it. Well, except my father maybe. I'm sorry, but I
hated this movie. Some of the scenes are weird and being very anti-gun, I don't
feel sorry because Ralph can't get his gun. I have seen it over the years and
will admit it does have some charming stuff in it. But it is ruined by that
stupid scene with Santa Claus in the mall, and will never be a favorite.
However, to be fair I put it high on this list. I know what's going to happen,
I'm going to probably get ten comments telling me to watch it again. Don't hate me. ;)
#4.Disney's A Christmas Carol-I mean the one that just came
out a year or two ago. Man, I was all excited to see this. Jim Carey as the
star? The most faithful adaptation ever? 3-D? Ok, I didn't care about the 3-D
but the rest sounded cool. Boy was I disappointed. The only one thing about
this movie I liked was the soundtrack. To be fair, the music was great. The
rest was so annoying. Jim Carey didn't deliver, the animation was nice enough
but the 3-D was so-so. This was not the most faithful adaption; I don't care
what the creators believed. The part that really killed me was the crazy scene
in the Ghost of Christmas Future segment where Scrooge is miniaturized (?) and
then chased around the streets for several minutes. What the heck did this have
to do with anything? I have loved A Christmas Carol for as long as I can
remember (which I will explore more in another article) and this wasn't true to
the book at all. I was just really disappointed with this film, and will never
watch it again.
#3.The Santa Clause 3-What a disappointment this thing was.
I want to make clear; The Santa Clause is my favorite Christmas movie. I think it
does everything right, and Tim Allen is surprisingly good. More than good, he
does an amazing job in that movie turning into Santa clause. This sequel was
just lousy. I am also a fan of movies which look at events from
a different perspective, which is kind of what this movie does by revisiting
the 1st movie. So I had high hopes. First of all, the whole movie is setting up
this plot by Jack Frost. When we finally get to it the whole thing takes about
ten minutes, then everything is reset and the movie is over. Too much beginning
and not enough ending. I also can't believe how bad Alan Arkin and Ann-Margaret
are in this film. They were truly phoning this in. Santa Claus comes off as a
jerk and an idiot, and his top elf Curtis is just useless. Why would Santa make
the laziest elf top elf? I could go on and on nitpicking this film.
#2. Once Upon A Christmas.zzzzzzzz. Oh, sorry. Just thinking
about this movie puts me into a coma. Mary Steenburgen is a fine actress, but
boy does she bring this movie down. She is a depressed woman named Ginny
and she does a great job. Such a great job she makes you want to shoot
yourself. Even when she is happy at the end, it's still depressing. Of course
the script is also bad. An angel is sent to cheer this lady up. First, he
introduces himself to Ginny's daughter, for no reason. Then they visit Santa,
for no reason. Finally the angel stops time or reverses it or something so she
can see what happens if she doesn't lighten up. What happens is her husband
gets killed and the children almost drown in a river. I can deal with dark
elements in a Christmas movie but they just seem so unnecessary in this movie.
Poor plot, poor pacing, poor story. This movie just sucked.
#1. Santa Clause: The Movie-I have nothing against Dudley
Moore or John Lithgow, but wow this movie stunk. It actually starts out pretty
good as we see how Santa Clause came to be. Then the plot finally takes over,
and the story just gets stupid. Dudley Moore's character Patch tries to
revolutionize the way the elves make toys but the sped up process is a
disaster. What does he do? He runs away, and ends up in New York where he runs
into a ruthless and greedy toy executive. John Lithgow can be good when he does
over the top, but here it is too much. He gets Patch to help create a second
Christmas holiday which includes a lollipop which will be delivered to every
child. These lollipops make children fly. At first it is so successful Santa
feels unwanted. Um, really? Kids would rather have lollipops than toys? Anyways
the story just gets sillier and sillier. It's revealed the lollipops are
dangerous (no!) and Santa has to save the day. The movie ends with a reindeer
stunt they spend the whole movie building up, but it gets a big yawn from me.
Patch is reunited with the elves and John Lithgow's character winds up floating
right up into space. This isn't half the dumb things in this movie, but I made
my point. I just hated this movie, it was real stupid.
Well,
that's my list of five Christmas movies I don't liked. Jingle all the
Way and Deck the Halls would probably be on here but I have avoided
them, I know how bad they are. I liked Christmas with the Kranks, but I
can understand why so many people have problems with it. I know people
will disagree with me and that's cool. Which Christmas movies did you
find disappointing?
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