The Perfect "Star Trek Crew"???

Haven’t done one of these in awhile. In honor of Star Trek’s 50th Anniversary, one of many articles and tributes you will see this year, I present an idea long overdue. Just for fun of course. With four series spanning decades now, we have managed to come up with some very distinct characters. These are characters fans have loved and will love for a very long time. But what if you could blend these different shows, and create a perfect Star Trek command crew? The characters I will discuss come from:


         


This ended up being harder than I expected. So in order for this to work I had to make a few rules. I had to match up the characters so they would fit by position rather than rank and some, like Chief Engineer, was easy. Others was trickier, so for instance Spock was Science Officer but I listed him as First Officer. Data was Science Officer and Operations. Augh!! I’ll explain the other choices as we go. And I needed a category for the odd characters that only spend half the series there with no official command role but deserved to be in here since they are as loved as any other character.  And finally I know it could be cheating but Worf was listed twice, for TNG and DS9. But I think I broke them down fairly. Finally, sorry but Enterprise is left off. It just worked better without it, and besides none of those characters were really that interesting.


Usually I try fairy disperse the selection so every show (or character) is fairly represented. But that was nearly impossible with this one. Now I imagine many will disagree with the choices below, just remember that this all in good fun. If you disagree that’s cool, I respect your opinion.



Let’s start with the big one…

Captain-Next Generation

This is the debate that has raged on for years. Kirk vs. Picard. You throw in Sisko and Janeway and you’ve got a serious debate! A lot of people would say Sisko is the greatest captain of them all. Yeah…..not for me. I think Sisko is bad ass when the going gets tough, but the rest of the time he just kind of fades into the background. Janeway rocks, even though many may disagree with me. She is tough and no nonsense. Problem is she isn’t much of a diplomat. So, we are down to Kirk and Picard. Who would you rather have, the all action Kirk or the no nonsense Picard? It’s a very tough call but I think Picard is the stronger commander. He has more experience, and uses his head more than diving into action. Not that Kirk wasn’t great at out thinking his opponents. I just like Picard a little more. I could go on and one comparing these two, but that’s a subject for another article and we got nine more categories to discuss.




Ok, so this is where it gets tricky. We need a first officer, so who is the best?



First Officer-Original Series

Again, this is not an easy choice. So who do we have here? Riker is awesome and owned the job of first officer. He would flat out argue with the captain about things including putting himself in danger. That’s the mark of a great first officer. The problem is that often it seemed all he was good for was yelling “red alert” over and over. Kira..wasn’t so great. When DS9 started I think they meant for her and Sisko to be at odds, but that never really went anywhere. So basically she fit whatever role they needed her to. Chakotay was a good first officer and did a good job delegating responsibility….but the problem was that he was so boring half the time. So we get Spock, and while he technically should be in the science officer category I had to have him here. Kirk once stated he was the best first officer in the fleet, and it showed. And not only was a great first officer, but he was actually a fantastic science officer which meant he was useful all around which is more than I can say for the other three.





Doctor-Voyager

Every ship needs a good doctor, and all four of these are excellent. McCoy was gruff but really cared. But he fit better as Kirk’s best friend I think. I mean, how many times did he say “he’s dead Jim!” again? Crusher was a great doctor…after she stopped just being Wesley’s mother. It took awhile for me to really like her, and sometimes her passions get in the way of her judgement. Bashir was insufferable early on, and even when they mellowed him out he was still kind of annoying. Though no question he was a skilled doctor. So why The Doctor from Voyager? He always felt like the amalgamation of all three. Yeah he could be annoying but no one ever doubted his skill. He did have compassion and was even a good friend when he needed to be. Even though a hologram, as the series went on everyone respected him.






Engineering-DS9

This was the easiest and hardest category. Easiest because the Chief Engineers on all four shows were clearly identified. Hardest because they are all awesome in there own ways. But which was the superior character? Scotty was the miracle worker, he set the standard the rest all followed. Problem is that when he wasn’t in chief engineer (or third in command) mode, he was kind of annoying. LaForge didn’t start out as the Engineer but when he was dropped into that role it fit him perfectly. But it always bothered me how much help he needed in episodes from Data and even Worf. Yeah I know Spock helped Scotty once in awhile, but not as much as Data helped LaForge. Torres was a good engineer but she was only put in that role because Janeway realized she needed a Marquis in a command role. She was short tempered and Seven ended up doing a large part of her job. So who does that leave us with? O’Brien of course. He was a great Engineer but here is what I like the most about him..he is simply one of my favorite characters. He was awesome on TNG and some of my favorite DS9 episodes are his. He feels like a well rounded character. Yeah he has flaws but knows how to relax, he loves his job and has a great wife and children. Plus if you had to have one of these guys in a combat situation, this is the guy you want!




Ok this is where it gets tricky. Where do Uhura and Sulu fit? Uhura was fourth in command, not that you’d ever know it watching the series. But while she wasn’t security she did say hailing frequencies open, which the other three did too. Ok not Odo….see what I mean? And where does Dax go, she was science officer but who does that match up with? Well, let’s get to the next category, Operations….






Helmsman/Science Officer-Next Generation

Ok I am lumping the characters who drove the vessels in this category. Sulu was a great helmsman and had combat experience..but man how often was he kidnapped or spaced out by something? Also he had no other function on the ship since Spock was Science officer. On DS9, Dax was the helm officer of The Defiant plus the Science Officer on DS9. Problem with Dax is that her character was all over the place. One episode she’d be stoic, the next snarky. And no I am not discussing Ezri. It was clear they wanted Dax to be a strong character but I can’t think of one episode she was featured in that I liked. On Voyager, Paris was the helm officer, yeah no science officer but he was a damn good pilot. He even built his own ship called The Delta Flyer. Honestly Paris could have one, but the helm officer on TNG was Data and no one can beat Data. My favorite character Data was just pure awesome. He was dependable and reliable, saving the day more times than I can count. Everyone respected Data, he was just pure awesome. I could go on and on and on……..






Security/Communications/Tactical-Original Series/DS9

Yep this is a tie. Let me explain why. There was no security officer on Kirk’s ship, but Uhura was communications officer which is something that Worf and Tuvok kind of doubled as. But on DS9 Odo was security, but never handled any communications on the station or The Defiant. So I think you understand my reasoning here. You need a great communications officer you need Uhura, but you want security you look toward Odo. So why not Tuvok and Worf? Tuvok was better as tactical officer and honestly this was a hard choice. He was a good security officer,  I just think Odo was better at the job. Especially compared to Worf who, let’s be honest, was not that great at his job. Oh yeah he had his kickass moments to be sure but he never had that confidence that Odo did. Odo could just smile at someone and they knew it was over. It was awesome watching him and Worf butting heads when Worf joined DS9. And finally, Uhura was just awesome, she was smart and capable and kicked ass. As much as people complain she didn’t get enough to do, I think if you go back and re-watch these episodes you may be surprised. She was always on hand, especially to back up Scotty when he was in temporary command. She could handle the helm, complicated repairs, and even monitored the science station in one episode. SHE ROCKED!







Navigator-Original Series

So who would you choose? Ensign Chekov, Ensign Crusher, Ensign Kim, or Ensign…Nog? Yeah this category is clearly the hardest to choose from. As for Nog, there really isn’t a good match for here this was a close as I could get. And while it was cool watching his character grow and evolve, he was still supporting. This has always been a strange role, on all shows the navigator seemed to be filled by the ensign of the week. Chekov of course managed to become the popular one after he appeared in season 2. Ensign Crusher had the position on TNG until the character finally faded away. And then we have Ensign Kim on Voyager, who was Operations officer not navigator but I had no where else to put him. Kim was whiny and annoying, enough said. By default, Chekov takes this prize. Besides he could also double as science officer and even helped out in Engineering which is something the other three sure can’t say. Oh hey, I almost forgot Ensign Ro on TNG! Yeah..Chekov still wins.








And The Rest—Voyager

Ok so I needed a category for characters who were bridge officers..even if those jobs weren’t very clear. For instance, Lt.Rand was around for a few episodes. She would wander onto the Bridge and just kind of stand there. Except one time when she did take the Helm and even then Kirk had to force her to. Troi pretty much had the same job, pretty face on the Bridge to sit there. In the early days of TNG she contributed more but as the show evolved her role became less and less..until she finally decided to learn to command. But by then it was to little, to late. On DS9, Worf joined later in the show’s run and pretty much was there to fill whatever role the show needed. And Voyager had Seven of Nine…who was just flat awesome! She was an interesting character who we loved to watch, and she could pretty much fill in wherever she needed. I loved Seven and could talk about her all day. This category is no contest.






The Confidants-Next Generation & DS9
 
All of these shows need that extra character that has no command role and very often is there to just be a another person for someone to talk to. On TOS, the best I could do was Chapel who was cool but never served any real purpose. Though she often chimed into clear up plot details. On TNG Guinan would come in, offer advice, and then disappear. On DS9 that was Quark’s job, he ran the bar of course and the series often had to try to hard to give a reason for him to be in an episode. And when he did get an episode it usually sucked. And on Voyager…we had Neelix. Ah Neelix, what would Voyager fans bitch about without him? This was a great example of a character going so far from what it was supposed to be….that they had to invent reasons for him to be there. And for those wondering, yes Kes was around the first three years but was so boring she was eventually written off the show. So, who wins? Guinan did something the others did not…provided useful help to he characters! She wasn’t just there to swoon over a character, distract from the plot or just be plain annoying. Guinan rocked in every way! But at the same time, Quark was good for offering a different point of view on things. And at least he was a main cast member, unlike Guinan who appeared once in awhile. Ah screw it, making it  a tie.







Finally, if you had to choose a vessel for this imaginary crew, which would it be?



Voyager is a cool ship but small. Defiant is even cooler, and smaller. So which Enterprise would I prefer? I love the Enterprise-D but the classic ship is the one I loved for as long as I can remember.






Well there you have it, my perfect Star Trek crew. Of course, this was all in good fun and I am sure you can swap any or all of these and make your own lists.