Batman (1966) Movie Review

I have done a lot of articles, but so far I have not attempted to do a full fledged review. So, here is my first attempt. I am going to talk about the Batman movie from 1966, the one which is impossible to watch without laughing (and for all the wrong reasons). Hope you like this.

Before I begin I want to say that the 1966 Batman show was fantastic. For the time it was on, the show was brilliant. At that time the Batman comics were silly and campy, so the show lived up to that very well. It was well written and had a great cast starting with Adam West. West did the best Batman until Michael Keaton came along, his straight man act was perfect for the role. However, what works in a half hour TV show may not work as well in a 90 minute movie. I guess I give them credit for trying, and in the summer of 66, between season’s one and two, the movie hit theatres. I will spare you a full fledged description of the characters, if you don’t know who the characters were or the actors who played them then you probably aren’t even interested in this to begin with.

We open with a longer version of the theme song, as the credits roll over an odd montage which makes no sense. I guess it’s supposed to be Batman and Robin pursuing the criminals, but it just seems out of place.

The credits end and we get the typical narrator talking about how a yacht is bringing a revolutionary scientific invention to Gotham. We see Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson rushing back to the mansion. I love how the movie budget gives them a chance to show the duo driving up to the house, and racing inside. Anyway, they rush into the library, slide down the polls, and are the Dynamic Duo again. Apparently the inventor, Commodore Schmidlapp, is on the yacht and has been reported in grave danger. We see the usual dash to the Batmobile, and so far this is the best episode ever!

It takes the movie not even two minutes to show the first new cool vehicle for Batman. The Batcopter, which is in an airport they need to drive to. I realize the movie only had so much money, but does that make sense really? Wouldn’t that be like Batman going to Hertz every time he needed his car? Batman must really trust these guys! They board the copter, leaving the Batmobile sitting on the tarmac! and proceed to fly around and buzz a building. The scenes are quite nice, even though they just slow the movie down. Could we get to the story guys? Five minutes in and all they’ve done is show off.

Finally, we get to the yacht. They drop the Bat Ladder (which even has a nice sign on it which says that, to avoid confusion) and Batman climbs down toward the boat. Just when Batman is about to land on the boat, it disappears and a shark grabs his leg! How does Batman get out of this jam? He has Robin throw down the shark repellent, of course! Not even ten minutes yet and this already ridiculous. This makes the bat credit card seem logical. The spray works and the shark drops and explodes, with no damage at all to Batman’s leg even though the shark was munching on it for a few minutes. By the way, the shark is more fake then Jaws 3-D. Then we cut to next scene making that one pretty pointless.

We suddenly appear in Commissioner Gordon’s office were a slew of reporters are taking pictures. Batman conducts a press conference about the yacht, denying that it disappeared. During the press conference we are introduced to Russian reporter Miss Kitka from the Moscow Bugle. I always love how in this series everyone knows they have secret identities, Robin even admits they live with family, and yet no can find out what they are. Anyway, I digress.

Batman deduces that the warning about the yacht was a trap, meant to decoy them from the real kidnapping. They try to find out who is behind the threat, and using a closed circuit TV they deduce that the known criminals not in prison are Penguin, Joker, Riddler, and Catwoman. It’s obvious the pics they show were publicity shots, in the shot of Catwoman she is in Wayne manor. They try to figure out which one is behind the scheme, and deduce it is all of them.

We cut to a pier where we see Ms.Kitka emerge and go into a seedy bar. In the back, the villains are collaborating. Ms.Kitka, it’s revealed, is in reality Catwoman. The villains agree they have to work together, and discuss their plans. Their hostage has no idea he was even kidnapped, as they tend to him. Penguin figures that Batman and Robin are closer to figuring out what is going on, so he makes plans to divert them. He commands the henchmen to get the submarine ready (and for some reason the henchmen yell “yo-ho” after every order. That doesn’t get annoying).

In the Batcave, Batman realizes that the yacht they saw was just an illusion. They determine where the projection came from, an illegal projection buoy carefully camouflaged. Not sure when legal projection buoy’s started being used, but ok then.  They determine the coordinates and head off in the Batboat to investigate further.

Batman and Robin reach the Batboat which is just a speedboat. It is just sitting plain as day by the side of the pier, no guard or anything. We get treated to some shots of the boat speeding across the ocean, to its destination. As it does, the Penguin’s submarine lurks beneath them. I never understood why Penguin is the boss, or why Joker or Riddler would take orders from him. Anyway, Batman and Robin find the buoy and the shark cage that the shark came from. As they investigate, Penguin activates the magnet inside the buoy and magnetizes the dynamic duo to it. These villains are amazing; they made a hologram projector and converted the buoy into a magnet!

The submarine prepares to fire, while Batman finds his transmitter. Just as the first torpedo is fired, Batman gets his transmitter and uses it to reverse the polarity of the torpedo. They do this for the second also. The third time the transmitter fails because the batteries die (he should have used Energizer!). It looks like the dynamic duo are done for, as the buoy explodes. We hear the explosion off screen and the villains celebrate. Suddenly, we cut to Batman and Robin just fine in the Batboat! What happened? Why a porpoise sacrificed himself by hurling himself into the path of the torpedo, of course! That doesn’t explain how they escaped the magnetic buoy, but we’re moving on now.

Batman and Robin then call the navy department to find out where the submarine came from. It seems the navy disposed of a pre-atomic nuclear submarine to a man named P N Guin. That doesn’t seem like a national security breach at all! Batman does dress down the admiral, but the whole thing is a bit hard to believe. This was the cold war era remember. They try to make the admiral come off as a fool but the idea they would just up and sell a submarine to someone is still hard to swallow.

Anyway, a Polaris missile then shoots out of the water and it explodes a message. The message is a riddle, in the form of a joke. I give the writers credit for trying to give Riddler something to do here, but how did the criminals know Batman survived? They were celebrating his death the last we saw them. Back in Commissioner Gordon’s office the joke riddle (?) confirms that the villains are working together. They deduce since it’s four of them their objective must be to conquer the entire world. We then cut to the villains discussing the United World Headquarters. This is a made-up version of the United Nations, more on that in a bit. The villains discuss that they are running out of time and they need to do something about Batman. They discuss a plan to send Batman into the arms of Penguin’s exploding Octopus. They already did an exploding shark, so why not? They decide to use a disguised Catwoman to lure Bruce Wayne into their clutches which will subsequently bring Batman into their trap.

We cut to Wayne Manor where Ms.Kitka is speaking to Bruce Wayne. We get a whole scene were they get to know each other, and Bruce falls for her. She gives Bruce some riddles she discovered and while Alfred escorts her out Bruce sneaks off to the Batcave to interpret the riddles. They determine that the riddles are a threat to Ms.Kitka’s life, figuring that she must have somehow stumble onto their plans and now they are going to kill her. They decide to set a trap for the villains, while Bruce goes out with Ms.Kitka, Robin and Alfred will monitor from the Batmobile.

Bruce and Ms.Kitka enjoy a lovely evening, which I have to say kind of slows the movie down here. It was moving pretty well till this part. Since we know Ms.Kitka is Catwoman there is no suspense, it’s just a waste of time and an excuse for Adam West to look pretty without his cowl on. Robin has the bright idea to shine the bat signal to trick the criminals into making their move. Then when Bruce and Ms.Kitka start to get real close, Robin decides to stop monitoring because it’s the only decent thing to do. Brilliant Robin.

The villains move in on flying, whatever they are. Then, big surprise, the villains ambush the hotel and Bruce can’t defeat them all. I’d make a joke on what Robin must have been doing while this was happening, but will refrain. After Bruce is captured, we go back to the Batmobile where Robin is anxiously trying to decide whether or not to start monitoring again. Alfred convinces him to, and he finds out its too late.  

We cut to a scene where the villains await Batman’s arrival. Bruce threatens the villains if they harm Ms.Kitka, and Catwoman has Bruce bound and gagged. The villains bring him to a room where Catwoman has turned back to Ms.Kitka. They have some more tender moments as they discuss their situation. Bruce tries to escape but that fails. As the villains try to search him, Bruce breaks into another fight scene. This time Bruce does a good job, and one henchman accidentally activates0 the trap for Batman. The henchman is thrown into the exploding octopus.

Bruce actually manages to escape, and return to Wayne Manor. No thanks to Robin, but of course Bruce just moves on to the Batcave. Personally, I would have wanted a quick word with Robin first for screwing everything up. Anyway, the villains are discussing their plan again. They realize they need to do Penguin’s plan to get Batman out of the way, crazy as it may be.  

Penguin gets the scientific invention which we learn is able to extract every bit of moisture from a person’s body, leaving them a small pile of colored dust on the floor. I could go into the science of this and how it’s preposterous to dehydrate someone like that. What’s even crazier the weapon can also rehydrate a person, whole and safe? Even Star Trek could barely get away with that. Anyway, Penguin dehydrates five henchmen and plans to trick Batman into letting him into the Batcave, with the dehydrated men.

Batman and Robin return to the criminal hide-out to rescue Ms.Kitka. Instead, Batman finds a bomb. This is the silliest bomb ever, looks like something Bugs Bunny would use. Then we are treated to a hilarious scene of Batman trying to get rid of the thing but a marching band and other obstacles including some birds get in his way. Finally the bomb explodes, and we find Batman is fine because he disposed of it in time.

Penguin, in a bad disguise, gets Batman and Robin to bring him to the Batcave. They use batgas to knock Penguin out, and once again Robin points out that they have secret identities.  Once in the Batcave the Penguin rehydrates the men, and you’d think we’d get another silly fight scene. However, the men disappear when hit because the water used to rehydrate them was heavy water, and left the men unstable and they were reduced to antimatter. Seriously? This scene was a real waste. Why do I think the writers decided they didn’t want a fight scene after all so this was the cop out to save some money?

Batman and Robin pretend that they are fooled by Penguin’s disguise so he will lead them to the others. Batman and Robin allow Penguin to overpower them and steal the Batmobile. Then we get to see the cool Batcycle as they pursue the Penguin. The Batcycle is stored behind a random bush, which really sounds safe. Batman is certainly a trusting fellow. They take the cycle back to the copter, where they track Penguin over the city. As they fly, Riddler sends some more Polaris missile’s in the air. It seems like they are struck and the copter is out of control. It goes spinning and spinning down, and lands…on a huge sponge at the foam rubber wholesalers convention. Seriously, you can’t make this up. Not only do Batman and Robin survive but the copter is fine.

The missile wrote two riddles in the sky before exploding (I have no idea how either). The riddles lead Batman and Robin to the United World Organization. They then run down the streets, and through a crowd of people, as the Penguin’s submarine reaches its destination. As the villains disembark, the heroes run in front of an obvious blue screen effect (sorry, I mean down the street, of course!). The villains sneak in some kind of back entrance, and Joker wears a mask for the only time ever. We are then treated to stock footage of the United Nations. Now, I gotta ask, did the creators think we were stupid? Why not just say it was the United Nations, or else use a clip of some more obscure building?

The villains break into the general assembly, which is comprised of nine men from nine countries just sitting around a table in a little room. This looks like a board meeting, not the Security Council. And why only nine? The real Security Council has 15 members. The villains slip in, and no one in the room appears to notice them. In fact, even when Joker starts to dehydrate them all no one notices anything. They just keep talking. If these men were in control of our world, it’s a wonder we got out of the 60’s.

So, the villains turn the security pile into little colored piles of sand. Each one is a different color by the way, who knows why, and the villains put them in separate vials. Batman and Robin race in and find out they are too late. That’s another thing, great security in this building. Batman and Robin confront the villains but Catwoman keeps them away by declaring Ms.Kitka will be killed if they stop them. The villains escape and plan to ransom the nine members of the council.

Once again we see the Batboat racing to rendezvous with the sub. By the way, I have no idea what happened to the Batmobile after Penguin stole it. Anyway, once again the villains try to torpedo the Batboat. We get another scene of Batman jamming a torpedo, causing it to explode followed by the villains celebrating. I guess they figured this was so cool the first time, why not do it again. The Batboat finally catches up to the sub; Batman forces the sub to surface using a charge which disables the boat. This is kind of cool. As the sub is tossed around we see the commodore oblivious, and the vials loose and out in the open, totally in danger of braking. Nice of the villains to make sure that stuff was secure.

So the sub surfaces and Batman and Robin board it. This leads to the big fight scene with the heroes and villains. This is a straight out of the series fight with the cool captions and everything. BAP! POW! This is a long fight scene, but understandably. As the villains are dispensed with, Batman races to follow Catwoman inside the sub. Catwoman trips in what has to be the fakest fall ever, losing her mask and revealing she is in fact Ms.Kitka. We get a close-up for a heartbroken Batman, as he recalls the song he heard earlier on his date.

Batman accepts it and moves on, disabling the sub and alerting the coast guard. He gets his hands on the vials, and makes sure they are safe. Everything is good, until Schmidlapp suddenly emerges and causes Batman to spill the vials! The sand is blown all over the place, oh no!

Back in the Batcave, Batman is using the Molecular Dust Separator. Thank heavens he had one of those around. The filter attempts to separate the dust while the world waits and watches including the president who we see from behind sitting, I’m not even sure where. The filer works, and we see Batman and Robin back the United World ready to restore the men. Everything is set, and unlike how Joker dehydrated them one at a time this time Batman rehydrates them all at once. The men are alive and keep arguing as if nothing had happened at all. There is only problem, each person is speaking a different language than before and acting differently. Why not, the science was preposterous to begin with, I guess if I can accept everything to this point I can buy this too.

Batman and Robin simply sneak out the window, their jobs finished. As they climb down the words “The Living End?” come on the screen. I have no idea what that means. Fade to black, that’s it.

What do I think? It was good, but not as good as a regular episode. It felt like it has been stretched out and just didn’t have that same feel. The final boat chase and fight dragged on a bit too long. I think the writer’s ran out of ideas and were trying to keep it going to make it a feature length. I loved the villains; they were great and interacted very well. Of course we look back at this and say it was ridiculous, but I loved watching this show in re-runs and this movie, while not great, is a pretty fun, silly way to kill 90 minutes.