Five Things I Hated in "Pretty Woman"

 35 years ago a little rom com directed by Gary Marshall came along...and became a monster hit. It was one of the most successful movies in 1990 and propelled a certain unknown named Julia Roberts into superstardom. Of course I am talking about..

Released March 23,1990 this movie had plenty working against it. Disney had watered down the original idea, the movie was shot very weirdly, and Richard Gere didn't even want to do it at first. So how did this sleepy little movie do so well? The brilliant chemistry between our leads, and Julia Roberts herself, along with a great supporting cast (Hector Elizondo and Larry Miller steal their scenes and I adored Laura San Giacomo) and one of the best soundtracks I ever heard did the trick. Does that mean that everything in the movie is perfect? Course not and here are five gripes about the movie.

The deleted scene

This is almost cheating, but the directors cut did restore the scene so I can talk about it. After the montage we get a stupid moment where Vivian returns to her old neighborhood and his abused by some hoods. Before Edward saves the day. The whole point of the movie is that Vivian is being whisked into a Cinderella fantasy world and this break from that to her old life just feels unnecessary and just reinforces what we already know. The movie is better off without it.

The Bloopers

Way before the days of the internet this movie was well known for all the many inconsistencies in the movie. It's clear that this wasn't edited that well since that explains most of these. We have the breakfast scene where a croissant turns into a pancake which Vivian takes the same bite out of twice, the dinner scene where the sorbet cups appear, vanish, and then reappear, and the inexplicable moment in the montage where we see Vivian taking off Edward's shows only for them to be right back on in the next show. I should also mention the classic scene where Edward closes the lid to the necklace on Vivian's hands was 100% improvised, Julia's reaction was so adorable they kept it.

Vivian's "out of water" moments

In many ways this is a "fish out of water" story as Vivian is flung into high society which she knows nothing about. And like most fish out of water stuff a lot of it is just silly. I can buy some things like her fist pumping during the polo match or not knowing what fork to use at dinner. Other moments feel like trailer fodder, like the classic "Color me happy" elevator scene which doesn't even fit in the moment really. Or her spitting her gum out right at a person on the street. I mean, c'mon. Even Edward says he can't believe she did that. The dinner scene is pretty good, Vivian is confused but doesn't make a fool out of herself like a Willie does during her similar scene in "Temple of Doom".

The forced fight

Since this movie's third act break up comes naturally from the plot, there was no need for a forced fight out of nowhere to trigger it. So they got it over with earlier! If there is one scene that has not aged well for me it's the Polo scene. The whole thing is blatant set up. And Edward turns into a moron for a few minutes. He wasn't prepared to answer questions about them? Are you kiddinhg? And why tell Stuckey?? Oh we're getting to him trust me. Yeah it's just to set up the later scene and makes no sense. And him getting jealous of her talking to another guy? Sure. And why doesn't Vivian tell Edward about Stuckey right way does she think Edward set him after her? The fight itself is well done actually, I like her conflict in she wants to walk away but can't bring herself to take his money. But the scene leading up to it is just forced.

Philip Stuckey

Ok let’s get into this guy. Every movie needs a decent antagonist and Jason Alexander gives us one of the best. At first he seems like a likable guy and even a decent friend. But as the plot develops we see that Stuckey isnt quite that nice. First blatantly hitting on Vivian (with his wife nearby) and then growing more and more aggravated with Edward. Finally Edward decides to 180 his business deal which leads to…the scene. I know I’ve mentioned this before, it’s one of my favorite movie memories, but here we go. Stuckey tries to have his way with Vivian (to put it mildly it’s a pretty intense G rated rape scene) when Edward appears and punches Stuckey in the nose.  And when I saw this the first time in the theatre I cheered! I’ll always remember my father looking at me like “really??”. Jason Alexander was so slimy here that at first I refused to watch Seinfeld cause he was in. Course I figured out fast that George Constanta was a very different character. 

This movie has been criticized for basically being a fairy tale. There’s very little realistic in here. And to that I say, so? I also don’t agree it glamorizes prostitution, yeah it could be MUCH harsher but it doesn’t do anything to make it “glamorous” either. It’s a feel good movie, and there’s never anything wrong with that. Its probably why it was the mega hit that it was and Gary Marshall would make a career making other feel good movies including the equally beloved Princess Diaries and Runaway Bride which of course reunited Richard Gere and Julia Roberts.