Ah, cereals. We all know the mascots that have been around for ages. Tony the Tiger, Captain Crunch, that crazy Cocoa Puffs bird,,,. But what’s really fun is when a breakfast cereal comes out just to be part of a craze. It exists because something is popular a the time, usually a movie or cartoon, and we eat it up because we were stupid kids. No, just kidding we tried because it was on based on a character or franchise we couldn’t get enough of. Usually these were awful and never lasted long, but some were just so out there I decided it was worth discussing them.
Now to be fair, most of these novelty cereals were really just typical cereal with funny marshmallows in them (Pac-Man for instance which kind of worked actually, Ghostbusters which was just fruit loops with marshmallows). Some just simply threw a face on the box which had zero to do with the cereal and that was it (Wheaties may be the worst offender of this, Casper appeared on Chex boxes for some reason, Yogi Bear on OK’s in the olden days). And other cereals were named after the character or property but they did nothing special with the cereal at all (Mr.T and GI Joe is just Honey Combs in different shapes, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was Chex with marshmallows, Rainbow Brite was just a Lucky Charms rip off, and the two Simpsons themes cereals were nothing special).
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So here are ten crazy cereals from the 80’s and 90’s which either just make no sense or was such a lame cash grab that it’s just amazing!
#10.Wonder
Why would anyone come out with this? Ok I suppose cereal isn’t that far from bread, it is just grain, but Wonder Bread is a pretty bland product (heck the term “Wonder Bread” is often used as an insult) so who thought making a cereal out of it would interest people? At least Dunkin Donuts Cereal sounds like it could be tasty. Yeah Rice Krispies is just as boring but that had a brilliant marketing campaign "Snap, Crackle, Pop!"
#9C3PO’s/E.T.
Yeah in theory this cereal isn’t that special. But..C3PO? What?? I get it, at the time this was the most marketable character for kids (until ewoks came around). But it still makes no sense to me. As for .E.T. I swear I remember this one! For those that thought C3PO made to much sense. In 1982 E.T. was EVERYWHERE and I can attest to that. I had the stuffed animals and wish I still did. This chocolate was just peanut butter and chocolate cereal in E or T shapes. Nothing remarkable, but O’m sure I tried them. I never got marketing cereals based on properties kids shouldn’t see, there was a Gremlins cereal, Batman (1989), Indiana Jones, and more recently there was a Batman V Superman cereal. The worst may have been Pirates of the Caribbean cereal, really????
#8.Saturday Morning Funnies
Hey, since kids often eat their cereal while reading comic strips in the newspaper…what if the comic strips were the cereal!! Either that or they couldn’t come up with an idea so just threw them all in there. What the heck was this? It was fruity smiling faces what did they gave to do with the characters? Oh there were comics on the box you can read. Yay…… Oh by the way, yes there was a Garfield cereal but no Snoopy??? There were Smurfs cereals also, one in the 80’s for the cartoon and again for the live action movies.
#7.Disneys Chocolate Mud & Bugs
In the late 90’s Disney suddenly went nuts releasing all kinds of novelty cereals based on their properties. I picked this one because it’s one cereal which sounds so un appealing. I can imagine kids saying “Mom, I want my Mud & Bugs!”. But its juts cereal and marshmallows but kudos for a clever name instead of just “Timon and Pumbaa’s” like the rest of the line. Ok Hunny B’s for the Winnie The Pooh cereal was kind of cute though it’s no wonder they called it that who would eat Pooh-O’s??? And what was Buzz Blasts anyway??
#6.Reese’s Puffs
Ok, I loved Cookie Crisp. Eggo Waffle Cereal I get. Nesquick cereal I can even get. I could almost buy Oreo-O’s, but this was just to much! We know Reese’s Puffs but when it first came out it was called Reese’s Peanute Butter Puffs. Cereal that tatses like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup? Sure why not. There was also Hershey Cookie & Cream but I think that was taking things to far. The only one on this list you can still find on store shelves.
#5.Fruit Brute/Fruity Yummy Mummy
Ok I Count Chocula is awesome and even Frankenberry and Boo Berry are kind of cool (even if I personally find them gross). But these two are just…way to far. Fruit Brute isn’t even clever, it’s reaching way to far for a connection to the monster. While Fruity Yummy Mummy is a clever name, orange cereal? Yuck. Fruit Brute is Cherry..double yuck! The only fruit that seems to work in cereal is apples, as in Apple Jacks, for some reason. Take for example OJ's which was an orange cereal that faded pretty fast in the 80's. Ok Fruity Pebbles is still around but I think that's more The Flinstones being on the box I'd guess. And yes there's Froot Loops and Trix out there.
#4.Nintendo Cereal System
Talk about dooming your own product! Ok, here’s how this was supposed to work. You had two separate bags of cereal in one box. One based on Mario Bros and the other on Zelda. And you were supposed to combine them, I think. Good luck not dumping out the whole box on the first go. Yeah this made the McDLT seem like a good idea. There was a Donkey Kong Cereal also.
#3.Nerds
Ok ok, this could be just me. You see, I can’t stand Nerds candy. I loathe it. So as you can imagine finding out there’s a cereal out there based on this awful candy is going to make me raise an eyebrow. And like he Nintendo cereals there were two compartments that you had to combine (like the candy)> At least the Nintendo one was nice enough to separate the two types of cereal with bags! Not that cereals based on unhealthy things is unusual, Frosted Flakes is loaded wiyj sugar. Honey Smacks used to be Sugar Smacks and is gross. And Super Sugar Crisp came out and announced it was full of sugar and eventually the name was changed Super Golden Crisp.
#2.Ice Cream Cones
Is Reeses’s Puff’s not crazy enough? How about an ice cream cone! Yeah that was concept behind this cereal. And it didn’t just taste like ice cream cones, it looked like them too! This was the mistake Oreo-O’s made. Did I ever try them? I don’t remember but of all the one’s on thus list, this is the one I kind of want to check out. Cereals are often based on odd food that you wouldn’t think would be a breakfast cereal from S'Mores to Cinnamon Buns to Banana Bread to Churro’s (yes, really).
#1.Urkel-O’s
Um, what? I swear I never heard of these. And I sure as hell wold never have tried them. Strawberry and Bananas cereal? It doesn’t even make sense, what does that have to do with Steve Urkel? I guess Cheese would be kind of gross. But this did exist, see the ad if you don’t believe me, and is probably the lamest attempt to connect a cereal with a popular character ever. Well, the Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure Cereal was lame too. And The Addams Family??
So did I miss your favorite? Comment and let me know. For some reason these days it seems all they do is add flavors to pre existing cereals. That’s kind of a shame, these cereals may have been silly and weird but they were sure memorable!
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