Five Things I Hated in ‘Star Trek (2009)’

I am avid fan of the original series, but when I heard about the new reboot that JJ Abrams was coming out with I decided to be open minded. Then I saw the film, and I just did not like it. Yeah, there were moments here and there but overall I just didn't enjoy it. So I decided to list the 5 main things I hated about it.

First, I have to give credit for a few things. One is the whole alternate time line concept. As long as the stories I have loved for years still exist somewhere, I am cool with that. Second, the reason for this Kirk being different. It is established in the opening that Kirk's father was killed, so James Kirk grew up without his influence. This caused him to be cocky and rebellious. That is a great concept which makes perfect sense, and was portrayed very well. I give Chris Pine all the credit in the world for pulling off this role; he stepped out of the shadow of William Shatner and did it very well. Finally, Leonard Nimoy was perfect in this film.

Ok, enough praise. Let's discuss my issues with the film. This is not a top 5 list; it is in no particular order.

#1.The Final Battle. I kind of liked the opening, I admit it. It was exciting and very well done. However, after that it was all downhill, leading to that awful “climax”. One word-Yawwwnn!!!  I don't remember the last time I felt so little interest in the end of a film. The final battle with Nero has no suspense whatsoever. It's also a confusing mess which actually makes no sense. I admit they did a good job with Kirk and Spock's moments for the most part. But the whole sequence is just loud and noisy, and of course Kirk and Spock got beamed out just in time. Even a brand new movie can't resist a little cliche. I just remember watching it and not feeling for a second that there was any real jeopardy. Also, at the end they promote cadet Kirk to captain. Yeah, that could happen. SF Debris’s review had a great idea for how they should have handled that, if you never saw that review you should check it out.

#2.Stupid Moments. I accepted it when they killed Spock's mother. I also accepted it when they destroyed the planet Vulcan. But that turbo-lift scene with Spock and Uhura was just too much. I get the concept; Uhura is trying to comfort Spock after losing his planet. Did they need to make out? I know on the original series there was a little chemistry between these two characters. However, this scene takes that just a bit too far. Another scene I hated was the whole Kobyashi Maru scene. Nothing wrong with making Kirk a little arrogant, but did he have to be a pompous doucebag? I know I just praised Kirk, but really I gotta blame the director for that one. The action tended to be way to fast also; I barely had any idea what was going on half the time. The space battles were a chaotic mess, and was it me but did the Kelvan have no shields at all at the beginning?

#3.The Technology/Enterprise Sets. I realize that copying the exact style of the 60's show wouldn't have made much sense, but couldn't they have tried a little? Or at least explained why it was so different? Maybe Nero changed something when he broke into the past which caused technology to advance faster? It's just sooo different. The worst thing is the Enterprise sets. Engineering looked like a beer refinery (because it was), and the bridge was awful. I loved the style of the Bridge on all the shows really, and this bridge was so antiseptic and uninteresting. In Star Trek the ship was in many ways its own character. Not here, it's just a place for the characters to stand with cool lights flashing all over the place.  Seriously, if I showed you a picture of the bridge and told you to point out Spock’s science area would you have any clue? Sick-Bay was on the screen so briefly we hardly saw it, and the one good set was the transporter which was the only thing that they did pretty good job on. I give them credit for keeping the costumes close at least, but why couldn’t they do that with the ship a little? By the way, I have no major complained with the exterior of the Enterprise. That was fine.

#4.Worst Villain Ever!!!. Not only is he boring, but his whole plan is just plain ludicrous. I don't think I need to explain it in detail since others have, but I will reiterate the big question. Why does Nero want revenge on Spock, who was doing everything in his power to help Romulus? It's just so absurd! Even if I accepted he blamed Spock, what is destroying Vulcan and Earth going to accomplish? This guy is just a petty thug; even Soran at least had a motivation in Generations for recklessly destroying a whole planet. I mean, what does he get out of this? Most bad guys either have a goal motivating what they are doing (like Kruge in ST III, he wanted Genesis). Or the revenge makes sense because it’s personal (Khan blames Kirk for his wife’s death, enough said). Spock didn’t cause Romulus’s destruction, so why is out to punish him? His whole motive is "I was hurt and I'm a big baby so I'm going to hurt you." According to SF Debris the comic book which led up this actually fleshed his character out a bit and made his actions personal and understandable. Too bad the movie couldn’t take that step. He is just so uninteresting and nothing he does makes sense. Even when we first meet him, would someone explain why he killed the captain at the beginning? Was it his fault Nero was a few years to early? There is nothing about this villain which makes him anything more than a big baby.

#5. The Characters. I gave credit for Kirk which was well done. However, it stops there. They took all the characters and pretty much ruined them. Sure, some worst than others. Ok, let's go through this one at a time.

Spock-Zachary Quinto does a great job of resembling Spock, but is unable to convey the compassion  and likability that Leonard Nimoy did. Sorry, but I found nothing charming about him. Yes, you can counter argue that this due to the script and he will be better in the next film. I hope so.

Bones McCoy-To be fair, the actor did a pretty decent job. I was kind of impressed. The only problem is we never get to see the softer side of McCoy, he wasn't always gruff. Also, in the series McCoy was a main character right there with Kirk and Spock. Why is he a background character here? They did have one or two decent Spock/McCoy moments, I’ll give the movie that.

Uhura-Uhura wasn't bad at all, aside from that make-out scene with Spock. I give the actress credit here. She did a great job and this may be the one character where I didn’t miss the original (as much as I loved Nichelle Nichols).

Scotty-Oh man, where do I begin? First of all, why is he in so little of the movie? By the time we meet him it’s almost three quarters of the way in. However, that wasn't the worst part. They took one characteristic from the TV version, when he would get all worked up when things got tense, and made that the entire character! This Scotty is an annoying jerk who likes yelling. Also, on the show Scotty was third in command because he could be counted on. Scotty knew how to be professional and serious, he wasn’t always shouting like a lunatic. Would you have put the Scotty in this movie in charge of anything? He came off like a crazy person. I will give the creators one thing, they didn’t make him a cadet like everyone else. Did Kirk and McCoy really attend the academy at the same time? (and I am not even going to talk about the lucky coincidence that they were all in Iowa at the same time)

Sulu-As hard as it is to believe, they actually made Sulu even duller than he was in the series. I mean, why is Scotty over the top while Sulu blends into the background? He did get that one scene with Kirk but that was it! He is also an idiot, as we see when we first meet him.

Chekov-Ok, you may want to sit down for this one. First of all, how in the name of all that is holy can Chekov be here??? It is established in the series he was at least ten years younger than Kirk. If so, then how could he be a cadet at the same time as Kirk? Never mind the fact Chekov was not on the show in the first season, why is here now?? They should have resigned him to a cameo and then brought him in on the next movie. Second, why is he manning the transporter? Chekov never, ever did that. He’s the navigator! Sure, he filled in for Spock once in awhile but I don’t remember Scotty taking over the science station in the series, so why is Chekov manning the transporter!! Every other character did exactly what they were supposed to do, except him!! Third, the actor was just terrible! Except for Star Trek IV when they were on modern day Earth, no one ever had trouble understanding his accent! And the fact that it’s the computer that has trouble is just stupid! That accent was annoying, and the actor played the character like a fool (except for when he saves Spock and the others, and even that he botches by not catching Spock’s mother). I hated this character!

I think Doug Walker summed it up in his bum review when he noted that the movie makes all the characters jerks. I agree, they took all the negative traits and expanded those rather than the positive one’s!

Ok, to be fair this wasn’t a horrible movie. In fact if this was just a generic space movie, then I probably would say it was really fun. However, when you slap the Star Trek name on it that changes things. The worst thing about this movie was they tried to take Star Trek and make it Armageddon. Just extreme space battles with lots of noise, crazy special effects, a weak story, and over the top characters. Where is the cerebral stuff which made Star Trek so worth watching? Where is the exploration of humanity and the great characters we truly cared about? Instead we get lots of noise and over the top characters that feel like a parody of what they are supposed to be honoring!

Whew, I think I made my point. So, there you have it. My reasons for not liking the Star Trek movie. I will be honest; it will take an awful lot to get me to watch the new one when it comes out. Ok, enough from me. Let the rebuttals begin!