Top 5 Worst Episodes of Seinfeld

Seinfeld was an amazing show. It literally changed the way sitcoms are made, and to this day the catchphrases are all household terms. It was on for 9 seasons, and every episode was a well written classic.

Well, maybe not. When this show was on top of its game it was fresh and very well written. There were usually three stories an episode which crossed over each other in a very smart way. Unlike a show like Friends where the stories were separate, on Seinfeld they usually affected each other in one way or another. There some amazing episodes, most famous of which is “The Contest.” Smart, well-written, and damn funny this episode is the quintessential episode. However, there were a few episodes which were off the mark. Maybe the writers were having a bad day, or a great idea just got lost somewhere along the way. Here are the five worst in my opinion, the last two almost unwatchable.

#5. “The Finale”. Yeah, you all knew this one would be on here so let’s get it out of the way. I was just as excited as anyone else when the series ended in 1998. I couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen, having my own ideas on how it should end just like everyone else. As I sat there, watching this episode unfold I kept hoping that something would change the plot, that it wouldn’t go where it was going. I had that feeling before, but I will discuss that later. Truthfully, I could have lived with this whole episode if not for that damned ending. For those who don’t know, in the episode Jerry and company are diverted en route to Paris and wind up getting arrested. Forget the fact that the “crime” isn’t really one in the country, but they actually get convicted. It was nice to see all those guest stars again, but whey did the end of the episode have to have them in prison? Seriously? I could go on and on, but honestly all they had to do to save this was one last scene, some kind of epilogue showing them, say a year later, and resuming their lives. Thankfully they did it, years later on “Curb Your Enthusiasm”. That mock reunion was the final episode we were denied.

#4. “The Susie”. To be fair, I never fully disliked this episode. It starts with a relatable premise; someone at work thinks Elaine’s name is Susie. I had something like that happen myself. However, the episode then starts spiraling down and the premise, which was really good, just doesn’t go anywhere. I mean a mock funeral? It doesn’t help that Kramer’s story is non-existent and George’s story is lame. Sure his answering machine message is cute but really, we’re supposed to believe he cares about making a ball entrance? On the DVD for the episode the writer himself admitted this one didn’t work, so if the writer thinks the episode stinks them who am I to argue.

#3. “The English Patient.” This one is a tough one because I loved Lloyd Bridges and don’t want to say he was bad in anything. However, his two appearances were two of the most painful episodes ever. Not his fault he got stuck with a horrible script. Actually, this was a tossup because I’m really not sure if this was worst then “The Blood”, I just know both are hard to watch. They both have over the top performances and the stories are just stupid. However, the annoying Cuban storyline in this episode is what particularly makes me cringe (and seriously, how hot were those crepe’s anyway?)  It's just bad, and I can forgive “The Blood” for it’s over the top acting on Jerry’s part which is really what killed that one. Again, a tough call so let's say "The Blood" is 3(a).  

#2. “The Barber”. I wish I could tell you how many tries it took to get through this painful episode, happened only after I understood what they were going for.  I mean, who decided that using opera music was a good idea? Though not as bad as the painful “Star Trek: Voyager” episode where they did something similar, this is still hard to watch. The plot of the ep is like a famous opera so why not go all the way with that concept, right? Wrong! It is just painful, but the music isn’t the worst part. The worst part is the story. We’re supposed to believe Jerry, who's and entertainer and doesn’t really care about people, is so worried about offending his barber that he goes even though he stinks? The whole thing is poorly written, even including a scene where Jerry lets Newman hang out in his apartment. This seem wrong to anyone else? Again, it doesn’t help that Elaine’s story is boring and George’s, actually, is the only good thing in this one.

#1. “The Heart Attack”. Ironic that an episode from so early on would be the worst episode. This is #1 because it was the only episode, aside from the Finale, I outright hated when I first saw it. Just with the final episode I kept hoping the story would somehow change, but it never did. I mean, where do I start? George needs his tonsils removed? They go to some guru who turns him blue? Then two ambulance drivers get into a fight over chicklets? Horribly written, poorly executed, and just way over the top. I got the feeling on the DVD this episode had problems, which sure seems the case.  To paraphrase Roger Ebert, “I hate, hated, hated” this episode.

One last note, I know there are a few I missed. I could have made this a top ten, but chose to keep it at 5. I thought about putting "The Diplomate Club" on here because I hated it when I first saw it. However, I have seen it in re-runs and have learned to appreciate it even though it was not the best epsiode every by far. "The Muffin Tops" is another, but the epsiode starts out strong with an ok story which nose dived in the end. Let's call these honorable mentions.

 That’s it, there’s my list. The truth is most of the episodes of Seinfeld were great, and they can be forgiven for being off the mark once in awhile. It doesn’t change the fact that this was the greatest show in history, and will be with us always. “yadda yadda yadda”