A
couple weeks ago I talked about ten dumb super powers that Superman has
had over the years. Most of them being silly silver ages things, back
when creators just didn’t care and did whatever they wanted even if it
made no sense. But the truth is, Batman wasn’t spared from this. Oh sure
he never had “super powers” but he did often have gimmicks or other
bizarre things which are downright silly considering the Batman we know
and love today.
Batman has a way of making silly gadgets cool. Bat Phone? Cool. Batpoles to the Batcave? Cool. A Bat Signal? Very cool. But some just don’t work. Here are ten examples of what I mean:
10.Shark Repellent Bat Spray
Yeah I can’t ignore the old Batman TV series on this list. There was a time when Batman’s utility belt was, well, actually used. Seriously, is it used for anything in comics these days? But it seemed like Batman had anything available at a moments notice…no matter how far fetched. But the dumbest had to be from the first live action movie, and the shark repellent he used to get rid of the shark chomping on his leg. The thing with this one is that everyone forgets that he had repellent bat sprays for all kinds of sea life.
9.Bat..Dog?
Yeah this happened, sort of. His name was Ace the Bat-Hound and I’m serious, he existed! This was an attempt to copy Krypto. It was stupid and mostly relegated to the silver age (though to my surprise he has made appearances in the animated series. It’s still stupid). Yes he went on a few missions (wearing a bat hood and everything). Ah the silver age.
8.Guardian Robot
Ah the silver age. If Batman wasn’t using various rainbow colored costumes, he was being turned into a baby for no reason. Then we had this creation, yes Batman had a real guardian robot. It didn’t end well. Did I mention that Batman got the robot by a space alien? Because of course he did.
7.Batpoon
Remember how before I said a lot of things Superman could do in the silver age made sense, it’s just that they threw the word “super” in front of everything so it sounded dumb. Same thing here. God forbid Batman just call it a harpoon gun. No, Batpoon is so much cooler!
6.Jet Roller Skates
Sounds stupid doesnt it? I got nothing to add the image speaks for itself. And yes he had ice skates in Batman & Robin, how lame was that?
5.Whirly Bat
This was a goofy one man helicopter that was used by Batman and Robin. It just looked dumb and thankfully finally went away. I guess the practicality of this device makes sense, but it just looks so…silly.
4.Bat-Mite
Ok this is another cheat since this was no gadget or accessory. by where else am I going to discuss this stupidity? Remember how I said having Ace the Bat Hound as a counter to Kyypto the Super Dog made no sense? Here’s another even dumber. Bat-Mite was Batman’s version of the Superman for Mr.Mzyzptlk. Guess he did have powers and caused trouble, but really who cares? The amazing thing is that Bat-Mite has reappeared over the years. Why?
3.Computerized Batarang
Batman Returns has all kinds of odd things in it, but one of the dumbest has to be the batarang Batman uses. It somehow is able to lock in on the four criminals, and target them specifically. You know I can take the CD player Bruce Wayne uses, but that seems kind of…silly.
#2.The stupid 90’s Bat Suit
In the 90’s we had a long story arc called Knightfall where Batman had his back broken by Bane. Azrael (Jean Paul Valley long story there) took over the mantle of Batman, and changed his outfit into the dumbest thing I have ever seen. It was an armored suit that contained all kinds of silly gadgets including a flamethrower. Really? A flamethrower???
#1.Bat Credit Card
Sigh. I guess we have to talk about this one. Batman & Robin was not very good. And probably the dumbest moment comes when Batman, arguing with Robin over Poison Ivy, whips out his Bat Credit Card. There is so much dumb here, but rather than go on I will simply leave you with this :
Ah comic books. Course there are plenty of stupid that don’t involve Superman or Batman. Maybe I’ll come back to talk about those another day.
Batman has a way of making silly gadgets cool. Bat Phone? Cool. Batpoles to the Batcave? Cool. A Bat Signal? Very cool. But some just don’t work. Here are ten examples of what I mean:
10.Shark Repellent Bat Spray
Yeah I can’t ignore the old Batman TV series on this list. There was a time when Batman’s utility belt was, well, actually used. Seriously, is it used for anything in comics these days? But it seemed like Batman had anything available at a moments notice…no matter how far fetched. But the dumbest had to be from the first live action movie, and the shark repellent he used to get rid of the shark chomping on his leg. The thing with this one is that everyone forgets that he had repellent bat sprays for all kinds of sea life.
9.Bat..Dog?
Yeah this happened, sort of. His name was Ace the Bat-Hound and I’m serious, he existed! This was an attempt to copy Krypto. It was stupid and mostly relegated to the silver age (though to my surprise he has made appearances in the animated series. It’s still stupid). Yes he went on a few missions (wearing a bat hood and everything). Ah the silver age.
8.Guardian Robot
Ah the silver age. If Batman wasn’t using various rainbow colored costumes, he was being turned into a baby for no reason. Then we had this creation, yes Batman had a real guardian robot. It didn’t end well. Did I mention that Batman got the robot by a space alien? Because of course he did.
7.Batpoon
Remember how before I said a lot of things Superman could do in the silver age made sense, it’s just that they threw the word “super” in front of everything so it sounded dumb. Same thing here. God forbid Batman just call it a harpoon gun. No, Batpoon is so much cooler!
6.Jet Roller Skates
Sounds stupid doesnt it? I got nothing to add the image speaks for itself. And yes he had ice skates in Batman & Robin, how lame was that?
5.Whirly Bat
This was a goofy one man helicopter that was used by Batman and Robin. It just looked dumb and thankfully finally went away. I guess the practicality of this device makes sense, but it just looks so…silly.
4.Bat-Mite
Ok this is another cheat since this was no gadget or accessory. by where else am I going to discuss this stupidity? Remember how I said having Ace the Bat Hound as a counter to Kyypto the Super Dog made no sense? Here’s another even dumber. Bat-Mite was Batman’s version of the Superman for Mr.Mzyzptlk. Guess he did have powers and caused trouble, but really who cares? The amazing thing is that Bat-Mite has reappeared over the years. Why?
3.Computerized Batarang
Batman Returns has all kinds of odd things in it, but one of the dumbest has to be the batarang Batman uses. It somehow is able to lock in on the four criminals, and target them specifically. You know I can take the CD player Bruce Wayne uses, but that seems kind of…silly.
#2.The stupid 90’s Bat Suit
In the 90’s we had a long story arc called Knightfall where Batman had his back broken by Bane. Azrael (Jean Paul Valley long story there) took over the mantle of Batman, and changed his outfit into the dumbest thing I have ever seen. It was an armored suit that contained all kinds of silly gadgets including a flamethrower. Really? A flamethrower???
#1.Bat Credit Card
Sigh. I guess we have to talk about this one. Batman & Robin was not very good. And probably the dumbest moment comes when Batman, arguing with Robin over Poison Ivy, whips out his Bat Credit Card. There is so much dumb here, but rather than go on I will simply leave you with this :
Ah comic books. Course there are plenty of stupid that don’t involve Superman or Batman. Maybe I’ll come back to talk about those another day.
