Top 5 Memorable Disney Character Death Fake Out's

How many times have we seen this happen? We get a main character we love, or a supporting character we love, and at the end of the film it appears they have made the supreme sacrifice and died. The characters are crying, we are on the verge of ears..and suddenly they wake up and all is well with the world. Sure this cliche is not specific to Disney, but man did they know how to do it right! It seems we always fall for it, and years later when you watched these scenes it still put a lump in your throat. Not to say Disney can't actually kill off characters. Bambi's mother traumatized a generation and Mufasa's death traumatized the next one, Kerchak really died in Tarzan (which I liked!!...the movie I mean not the death) and I still don’t know why they killed the bug in Princess and the Frog.

But usually it's a fake out, all for one last moment of drama. Here are my favorite Disney character death fake outs. The Only rule is these moments have to be from a movie I actually saw

#5. The Jungle Book

I hated The Jungle Book, it was one big bore. But I will give it credit for one thing. The scene where Baloo is apparently killed was very sad; it may be the one thing I took away from this movie. Baloo was the best character in the film, it's no surprise they gave him his own cartoon show (did anyone see Tale Spin growing up? Show of hands?).  The scenario is that after a battle with Shere Khan, Baloo is injured. Long story short, Mowgli manages to get rid of the Tiger and all is good. Except that Baloo is not moving. Then the scene which follow is basically Mowgli trying to get Baloo to wake up, and is so freaking sad! Two seconds later he wakes up and is perfectly fine. Yeah, I seem to remember this being a worst scene than it is because watching it again it doesn’t seem half as sad. I almost took It off the list, but since it is made clear, briefly, that everyone believes he was killed I will leave it here. This is a good example of something which seemed so sad as a child not having the same affect when you’re an adult.

#4. Pincochio

Have I ever talked about how much I hate this movie? Well, hate is to strong but it is so dark and even scary (the scene where the boys turned in donkey’s traumatized me). After all the crap we get thrown at us, we get the whale climax. The scene with the whale is an impressive scene, and what do we get when it ends? Pinocchio face down in the water. Sad enough? No? Okay let’s show Geppetto crying over Pinocchio’s lifeless body. We see Figaro and Jiminy also in tears. This is the saddest ending ever! Then, the blue fairy appears. She must be a sadist like the good witch in Wizard of Oz who didn’t tell Dorothy she could go home by clicking her heals right away. I mean, what took her so long? Why didn’t she show up before Geppetto had to carry his son’s lifeless body home? Anyway, she makes Pinocchio not only live again, but grants his wish to be a real boy (and the line where Geppetto tells Pinocchio why he is crying is actually a funny bit). Everyone is happy and all is right with the world. Man, was that sad though.

#3. Beauty and the Beast

Some fifty years later, this little cliché is alive and well. We all know the drill; Beast and Gaston are fighting on the castle. Like an idiot, Beast saves Gaston who thanks him by shoving a knife in his back. Too bad he didn’t watch where he was standing because he loses his grip on the wall. I love how Belle grabs Beast to make sure he doesn’t fall but doesn’t even blink as Gaston falls into the gorge below. Guess I can’t blame her, but you think she would have expressed some shock. Anyway, then we get the beautiful moment where he tells Belle he loves her and is happy he got to see her one last time, before apparently dying. The rose wilts, and that’s it. Right? Well no, because the conditions for breaking the curse were fulfilled so not only is the Beast returned to his normal form, but to life as well. Suddenly all the characters are people and the castle is beautiful and fixed. That was some curse the castle was under! All kidding aside this movie has always been one of my favorites, and I can even forgive the ending for being a little hokey.

#2. Lilo & Stitch:Stitch Has a Glitch

This was a direct to video release so may not be as popular as the other examples. But Stitch is one of my favorite characters and this scene was done well. What is not done well is the resolution, but we’ll get to that in a second. Basically in this movie Stitch begins malfunctioning (due to a glitch) and it turns out if they don’t do something about it then Stitch will become evil again, and then die. The movie is kind of weak, it feels like another episode of the series (what do you expect from a direct to dvd release), as it takes Lilo forever for figure out what is going on. By the time they get Stitch to the chamber which will cure him, they find it is too late. Stitch is gone, and everyone is in tears. They all loved him and will miss him. Now if you’re into Disney cliché’s, you can guess how he gets cured. It wasn’t magic, so what‘s the other option?  Love! How did you guess that? Yep the power of love not only brings him to life but cures him of the ailment he had been suffering from. Corny, yes, but the scene where he dies was very good and would have worked fine if they hadn’t gone to the lame “power of love” stuff. Stitch was a favorite character of mine; I loved the first movie and enjoyed the TV series. Maybe that’s why I cared a little more, this wasn’t a character I hardly knew this was one I had spent lots of time with and really liked.

#1. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

I mean this character is so dead we get a funeral for her! It's amazing how sad this is! This is the first Walt Disney feature length film, so I guess it’s not fair to say this was a cliché when it came out in 1939. I commented before on how the scene where Snow White is tricked into eating the poisoned apple is one of my favorite villain moments ever. It is soon followed by the seven dwarfs chasing the witch when a random bolt of lightning send her right into a gorge where she is killed. Worst death ever. Anyway, even though the witch is gone it looks like it was all for nothing. We see the dwarfs crying over Snow White as she lies in their bed, and then we get the scene with the glass coffin. They are crying and putting down flowers…..this is a kid’s movie right??? Then the bland prince appears, and gives her a kiss which wakes up her. The music plays, and everyone is happy because Snow White is alive and going to live happily after ever with the man she has never spoken to! Man this movie is dated. The ending always felt rushed and I always hated how Snow White never had any more real dialogue, sure we see her say goodbye which is nice but it would have been nice if she had said something else, like, maybe asking the prince what his name is. Well, this was done a long time ago so I guess I can forgive them but this death fake out is still one of Disney’s saddest moments, and set a standard which has been copied and copied over and over.

Honorable mentions include Lady and the Tramp which is often cited, but as sad a moment as it is when Trusty is hit it is never clear what happened, and then we see him in the next scene with a broken leg. If we was alive, than were these dogs just big on drama or something? Hunchback of Notre Dame is a great example when we think Esmeralda has been killed, but I never saw the movie so I can't say it made an impact on me. Finally, Pixar is not immune to this as we get scene likes this in Toy Story, Monster’s Inc, and even Finding Nemo when Marlin believes Nemo has been killed.

Sure I missed a few, so please let me know if I missed your favorite. Before I go I have to steal a joke from the Nostalgia Critic regarding all these death scenes which are “you know, for kids!”

Analytical Episode Guide-Seinfeld (Season 8, Part 3)

An Analytical Episode Guide to:

 

Season 8, Part 3

Episode 12, Season 8

The Comeback

 

Plot Summary-George tries to make up for missing a chance to zing a co-worker. Elaine falls for a mysterious video store staff member. Kramer gets Elaine to help him write a living will.  Jerry buys a racquet based on the opinion of a man who knows nothing about tennis.

Best Quote-“Believe me Kramer given the legal opportunity I will kill you”…..Jerry

Nitpick of the episode-Kramer didn’t know one can come out of a coma? He saw it for his own eyes back in Season 2! By the way George, that comeback is awful. You shouldn’t have wasted your time.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Kramer wants to die with dignity

Deleted Scenes-George fantasizing about using his zinger, Kramer trying not to get hurt

Episode Fun Fact-The indoor tennis court in this episode was really a tent which covered an outdoor tennis court. Which was a fine idea until it started to pour down on it.

Final Thoughts-This episode is full of cute moments. For once mean Elaine is funny, in the scene with Kramer where they work out the details of the living will. I like her story in this one, which of course ends in humiliation for her. This is classic George, obsessing about a comeback he failed to make. I know that feeling, been there. A normal person would let it go, but not him! Even flying to Akron just to zing the guy. I didn’t like how he ends up looking after he finally zings him and the bit about the other guy’s wife being in a coma. That was a forced moment to connect back to Kramer’s story and unnecessarily make George look bad but it was lame. Why did the guy move to Akron if his wife is in a coma? Jerry’s story is really good, the whole thing with Milos is great, and the stuff with his wife is great.  I love how Jerry doesn’t take his crap in the end. Kramer ending up in the hospital in the end and the gag with Elaine unplugging the VCR was lame. However a weak ending doesn’t change the fact this is a good episode, which is something I will not be saying a lot today.

Grade=B+, solid episode

Episode 13, Season 8

The Money

 

Plot Summary-George discovers his parents are rich. Jerry tries to buy back the Cadillac his parents sold. Kramer can’t sleep in the same bed as her girlfriend. Elaine is upset when J Peterman suddenly returns.

Best Quote-“And you misinterpret this how?”….I love this little line of Jerry’s, used it myself

Nitpick of the episode-George’s parent’s sleep in separate beds? Don’t you love it when the creators just make stuff up like that? They slept in the same bed in “The Cigar Store Indian”! The scene where Morty attaches his exercise equipment to Kramer’s door infuriates me. Wouldn’t common sense make him attach it to Jerry’s door????? One could argue he didn’t want to disturb Jerry, but did he give any thought to Kramer scared to death in his apartment that someone was breaking in?

Seinfeldism of the episode-Kramer’s girlfriend has “jimmy legs”, George thinks Elaine is sticking it to him, it being her new found wealth

Deleted Scenes-Elaine getting annoyed with Jerry’s father

Episode Fun Fact-Sandy Baron, who played Jack Klompus, was in a coma just days before production. The shot of the car in the swamp was an impressive special effect for the time.

Final Thoughts-This episode is like they took “The Shower Head” and tried to rewrite it. At least, that’s how it feels. More of Jerry’s parents and that Cadillac, and more of George’s parents and their moving to Florida. It just feels like we’ve seen it before. I get the feeling the creators realized there was nowhere else to go with Elaine running the catalog, which may explain Peterman’s sudden return in this episode. It’s actually kind of nice to have him back too.  Kramer’s story isn’t bad; it’s fun to see him become a parody of a sitcom husband in the end. Jerry’s story is so…I don’t know, terrible. It is nice to see Klompas again but the whole thing is just so lame. Jerry flies back and forth to Florida as if he were crossing the street and throws money away buying a Cadillac his parents don’t want. And George’s story doesn’t work either, why do his parents suddenly now realize they have money to burn?

Grade=C-.Not bad but not great

Episode 14, Season 8

The Van Buren Boys

 

Plot Summary- Jerry’s girlfriend seems perfect but no one else likes her. George gives and then takes back a foundation grant. Peterman enlists Elaine to ghostwrite his autobiography. When his stories are bland she gets Kramer to sell his.

Best Quote-“She’s the loser of the group. Every group has someone that they all make fun of. Like us with Elaine”….George

Nitpick of the episode-I never understood why suddenly Jerry’s parents forgot they hated George’s folks at the end of this episode

Seinfeldism of the episode-George gives the grant to the kid because he wants to be an architect like George pretends to be

Deleted Scenes-Peterman trying to get a good idea, Newman reciting stories to Elaine

Episode Fun Fact-Julia Louis-Dreyfuss is obviously pregnant in this and the next several episodes

Final Thoughts-This episode isn’t the worst one today, but it’s not the best either. The whole story with Jerry and his girlfriend doesn’t work. What does everyone else see that Jerry doesn’t? It may have worked if it were clear to the audience as well, and then we could laugh at clueless Jerry. It is kind of fun to have Peterman back, and the stuff with Kramer is kind of funny. We get to really see how important his stories are to him. But the stuff with the Van Buren Boys just does not work for me. And the whole intervention George and Kramer have with Jerry is just, weird.

Grade=C, weak

Episode 15, Season 8

The Susie

 

Plot Summary-Elaine’s co-worker calls her Susie by mistake. Kramer sets his watch an hour ahead. George avoids his girlfriend to stall her breaking up with him so he can make a big ball entrance. Jerry makes a bet with old friend Mike and accidentally breaks his thumbs.

Best Quote-“Well I’m very fortunate to be surrounded by such stupidity”…..Elaine

Nitpick of the episode-Well, the obvious. Why didn’t Elaine just correct Peggy right away? One of the main flaws of the story is that in the end she finds out Elaine was not Susie, making everything that happens in that story pointless.

Seinfeldism of the episode-George’s hilarious answering machine message

Deleted Scenes-None for this episode

Episode Fun Fact-Mike returns, we haven’t seen him since “The Parking Space” in Season 3

Final Thoughts-This is generally considered one of the worst episodes of the series. It feels like they just gave up in that last scene at the funeral, if they aren’t going to take it seriously how are we supposed to? Every story in this episode sucks, simple as that. George is the only one which is kind of ok, the answering machine is funny, but then it gets dumb when Kramer takes the place of his girlfriend. Why does making a big ball entrance seem like such a big deal? The scene where they both enter the ball is dumb. And Kramer’s story about adjusting for daylight savings time early is so pointless and stupid. Jerry’s story simply isn’t funny, are we supposed to laugh at the site of Mike with two broken thumbs? Of course we have Elaine’s story which, again, starts out pretty good. I’ve even had that happen. It just takes a turn into such a silly series of events that it dooms the episode which never recovers. To top it off we get another Wrath of Khan parody, because it was just so funny when they did in the season premiere.

Grade=D+, I never hated this episode but after watching it a few times do concede its real lame. If the writer admits this episode sucked, who am I to disagree?

Episode 16, Season 8

The Pothole

 

Plot Summary-George loses his keys in a pothole. Elaine movies into a janitors closet to get Chinese food. Jerry knocks his girlfriend’s toothbrush into the toilet. Kramer adopts a highway.

Best Quote-“By the time I finish with her mouth she’ll be able to eat off it”…..Jerry

Nitpick of the episode-How did Kramer not realize that painting over the lines would cause a huge traffic jam? Take four lanes and have them instantly converge into two, what do you think is going to happen? By the way, toilet water is as clean as any other water until it’s used. Just saying. Oh, and why does Elaine take the trash out she doesn’t really work in that building?

Seinfeldism of the episode-Jerry the neat freak

Deleted Scenes-None for this episode

Episode Fun Fact-The stunt where Kramer runs into a busy highway for a piece of trash was a dangerous one for Michael Richards

Final Thoughts-Jerry is officially a neat freak as of this episode, as even Elaine points out his annoying habits have finally crossed the line into disorder. The way he rips his apartment apart because of the risk that “something” was in a toilet bowl is funny. Kramer once again makes a silly story work. He takes the adopt a highway program a littler to literally. George’s story is also silly but somehow it works, especially the sight of him in that hard hat. Elaine’s story is the only weak one; I just can’t get behind her quest for some flounder. While it’s weak it isn’t her worst story either. One great thing about this episode is the way the stories connect to each other actually makes some sense in this one. Of course, the ultimate gage in this one is when the toilet explodes. Jerry takes one look at his drenched girlfriend, and walks right out the door. That’s a nice guy. Finally, I never really liked the throw away gag with Newman at the end. Yeah it’s a great sight gag but really not that funny, more disturbing.

Grade=B+, this episode is a gem in the midst of a lot of crap

Episode 17, Season 8

The English Patient

 

Plot Summary-Elaine hates the English Patient. Kramer asks Jerry to bring some Cubans back from Florida. Jerry offends an elderly fitness trainer. George is attracted to a woman because she confuses him with her boyfriend.

Best Quote-“C’mon man, help a brother out”….Kramer

Nitpick of the episode-So there are only three people who work at this crepe place who know how to make crepes? Mandelbaum says with the three in the hospital there is no one there so they have to close it up. Does that make any freaking sense at all? Especially when Izzy lived in Florida!!! Also, I love how we see Jerry’s parents moving in a condo when we last saw them in a trailer. What happened? Guess the creators didn’t care to explain.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Jerry informs George that he has “out-neiled” Neil (best I could come up with)

Deleted Scenes-Elaine and Peterman still at the theatre after the movie has ended

Episode Fun Fact-Not really an episode fun fact, but I have actually never seen this movie so can’t comment if I agree with Elaine or not

Final Thoughts-Painful. I loved Lloyd Bridges but, really? Is older people throwing their backs out really supposed to be funny? Yeah, that’s hilarious. At least The Susie had a few charming moments; this is bad all the way through. First of all, the jokes about the old people in Florida are getting really lame. Elaine’s story is the only one that feels a little decent (there’s a switch), but even that is lame. I understand if Elaine doesn’t like the movie but she gets a little carried away. I think the joke was supposed to be her offending everyone, but it just doesn’t work and makes her look like a nut. George’s story isn’t all bad I guess, but it isn’t great either. He wonders how the hot girl is dating someone who looks like him, but hasn’t he dated some good looking women during the series? Allison a few episodes earlier was pretty good looking, Marisa Tome almost went out with him, and there was the supermodel back in “The Switch”. Why is this such a big deal? The whole bit with Jerry and the Mandelbaum’s is just…..awful. I might buy it if this were a cartoon, not a sitcom we’re supposed to take at least a little seriously. That scene where Jerry picks up the TV and moves it I almost expect to hear the Loony Tunes music or something……Sigh, I guess I have to talk about Kramer’s story now. I can buy that the Cubans were real Cuban citizens not cigars, I can buy they were Dominicans not Cubans, and I can even buy that Kramer gets them to work at The Magic Pan to help because there is no one else to roll the crepes. But when the crepes start squirting their filling because they are rolled to tight and the stuff acts like acid……that’s it for me! I mean they make it sound like Neil was going to need reconstructive surgery or something…what the hell was in those crepes!!! Oh, and we end with a plane being taken hostage, yeah my side is splitting that’s so funny.

Grade=F, only the second time I have given an F. There is just NOTHING redeeming this one

This season started pretty good but really got bad toward the end, will it recover in its last few episodes or just get worst? Come back next week to find out

My Top 10 Favorite Nostalgia Critic Episodes

It’s hard to believe for me, but it’s only been a little over a year that I discovered TGWTG. It has always bothered me that I came in late; it took me forever to play catch up trying to learn about the reviewers and the videos. Some I love (Film Brain, Nostalgia Chick). Some I like but hate what they review (Phelous, Lupa, and Cinema Snob). Some I just have no interest in what they review (Gamers mostly). And a few I just hate (Blockbuster Buster). Of all of them two I absolutely love. First is Linkara, who I may talk about in another article about AT4W, and the other of course is The Nostalgia Criticl

I came into these reviews by accident, as I stumbled on his cliché list in on YouTube. It got me interested so I wanted to see more. One night I was up past 1:00 in the morning, I just couldn’t stop. It is hard to get me to laugh, but his videos had me laughing my a** off!  For the longest time all I watched was Nostalgia Critic, I had no interest in anyone else. That was until a little film called Suburban Knights came along. That was when I officially became a fan of the site and went thru and learned about all the reviewers.

Anyway, I am getting off topic. Today as we approach the 4th anniversary of that site I thought I would talk about my ten favorite Nostalgia Critic episodes. The one’s I love and could watch a million times.

I realize this would be easier if I had video clips, but if you either have not seen an episode or maybe have forgotten, then you can always check it out again.

#10.Top 11 Cereal Mascots.

I always know when I see a “top 11” that the episode isn’t going to be very funny. They never are which is cool. Sometimes informative can be just as fun. This is on here because I just enjoyed the history lessons he gives for each mascot. It’s not that funny but it is so interesting that it doesn’t need to be.

#9. HOME ALONE III

This review was really good, because the movie was really horrible. This was before he felt the need to yell at everything, so he was able to convey the craziness in a less spastic way. The best part of this review was his riff on John Hughes. The bit about what Hughes was on when he wrote the script was really funny.

Analytical Episode Guide-Seinfeld (Season 8, Part 2)

 

An Analytical Episode Guide to:

 

Season 8, Part 2

Episode 6, Season 8

The Fatigues

 

Plot Summary-Jerry dates a protégé whose mentor is dating Bania. George goes to great lengths to avoid reading a thick book. Elaine promotes a co-worker because she is scared of him. Kramer enlists Franks help to cook for a Jewish singles event.

Best Quote-“I guess I got confused!”….Kramer on his botched cooking

Nitpick of the episode-Elaine, just fire the guy already!

Seinfeldism of the episode-George needs to do a lecture on risk management, Bania works on his ovaltine bit with Jerry

Deleted Scenes-George talking to his protégé about risk management

Episode Fun Fact-Jerry Stiller got an Emmy nomination from his performance in this episode

Final Thoughts-Just going to come out and say it. I really hate this episode. The employee with the military bent is so scary that he is totally unlikable. Not only that but the story is dumb, why is Elaine so scared of this guy? Even if he is scary, there’s such a thing as firing people over the phone. The rest of the episode is ok, we get Jerry’s story about dating the protégé and George trying to find a way to get out of reading a thick book. Love the look on his face when his audio tape sounds just like him, clever. It’s always fun to see Bania again. Kramer’s story is only ok. It starts out good as we him failing at cooking but it spirals down as we find out why Frank never cooks and we get that lame war parody. Sure it was well done, but really, is the fact that Frank poisoned and seriously hurt a bunch of kids with his awful cooking really supposed to be funny? It isn’t to me. The whole thing is just painful, and the ending of the episode couldn’t be more predictable.

Grade=D+, swing and a miss

Episode 7, Season 8

The Checks

 

Plot Summary- Jerry gets carpal tunnel after signings dozens of royalty checks. Kramer gets involved with Japanese tourists. Elaine’s boyfriend is obsessed with the song “Desperado”. George tries to sell the Jerry pilot to Japanese television.

Best Quote-“It failed here because here every time you turn on the TV all you see is four morons sitting around an apartment whining about their dates”….George

Nitpick of the episode-I don’t think Jerry needed to give himself carpal tunnel by signing checks so small they are almost valueless, just not worth the aggravation. Why does George want to get brainwashed by a cult exactly?

Seinfeldism of the episode-Designer Karl Farbman comes up again after being referenced in “The Hamptons”

Deleted Scenes-None for this episode

Episode Fun Fact-The last line before the credits had two versions, one if the Yankees won and another if they lost.

Final Thoughts-This episode could get silly, but it manages to do a pretty good job of not letting that happen. The one weak story is the thing about the cult, which despite potential is really pointless and goes nowhere. Elaine gets a good story, as she tries to compete with the strange compulsion that “Desperado” has with her new boyfriend. The way Kramer interferes with the Japanese tourists is classic Kramer. Jerry’s story seems kind of silly, the whole thing with the royalty checks is kind of pointless and the bit with the umbrella doesn’t really lead to anything either. George is really funny in this episode, he keeps running into a dead end with the Jerry pilot but that doesn’t keep him from getting excited at the prospect of selling it even though his attempts fail miserably. And the bit with the tourists sleeping in drawers? Funny!

Grade=C, to many stories go nowhere in this one

Episode 8, Season 8

The Chicken Roaster

 

Plot Summary-When the red light from a neon chicken invades Kramer’s apartment, Jerry is forced to switch with him so Kramer will not force the restaurant to shut down and cause a friend to lose his job. Elaine gets busted for reckless spending while George tries to get a second date from a woman who did not like him.

Best Quote-“I’m like a commercial jingle. First it’s a little irritating then you hear it a few times your humming it in the shower. By the third date it’s BY MENNEN”…George

Nitpick of the episode-The way the girl seems to so clearly hate George after their first date makes the later scene where she confesses she has changed her mind about him a little hard to believe. Also, it takes a lot disbelief to buy that the neon sign is so large and so bright that it fills Kramer’s room with light like that. Think if that were real Kramer wouldn’t have to fight it; the city wouldn’t allow it in the first place. And why does it only affect Kramer and not anyone else in the building? Obviously showing the sign was too expensive or something since Kramer clearly says it’s in the shape of a chicken but there is no evidence of that. Good thing the episode is strong enough to make that a minor issue.

Seinfeldism of the episode-George does a leave behind to ensure a second date

Deleted Scenes-George wearing his new hat, Elaine trying to find Peterman in Burma

Episode Fun Fact-Initially the restaurant did not want to give their name to the episode, but Kenny Rogers himself gave the final approval knowing it would be good advertising

Final Thoughts-This episode is a favorite of mine. I never got the chance to eat at at Kenny Rogers Roasts but man this episode is sure a good ad for it! Of course the big scene in this episode is the one where Jerry storms into his apartment ala Kramer, and I must say he does a pretty decent job. Sure the way Jerry acts is more of a caricature of Kramer than the real character, but to see Jerry do those mannerisms while Kramer is cool and laid back is really funny to watch. That’s just a very well done scene. The whole story of Jerry getting his friend fired is well done, another case where we don’t blame Jerry because it was Seth who chose not to go to the meeting. George’s story is really good to, and the scene where Elaine drags him over to his girlfriend’s apartment is an interesting one. Even though Elaine technically is being mean here, for some reason that scene always worked for me. Something about Elaine cutting to the chase with George and his craziness is refreshing; usually the characters go along for the ride.  Too bad Elaine’s story ends on kind of a weak note, the Apocalypse Now parody has been done to death.

Grade=A-, a favorite

Episode 9, Season 8

The Abstinence

 

Plot Summary-George’s girlfriend contracts mono and cannot have sex. This results in George getting smarter. Elaine abstains from sex to support her boyfriend, but she gets dumber. Jerry gets bumped from a high school appearance and Kramer turns his apartment into a smokers lounge, with dramatic results for his appearance.

Best Quote-“You’ve experienced a lifetime of smoking in 24 hours, what did you expect?”….Jerry

Nitpick of the episode-I understand the part about how since George is no longer occupied with sex he can think because his mind is focused on other things. That kind of makes sense. I don’t get the other part with Elaine. Why does abstaining make her dumb? Jerry tries to explain it with a garbage strike analogy but it just doesn’t make sense to me.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Isn’t bunk bad?

Deleted Scenes-None for this episode

Episode Fun Fact-The scene with Kramer and the effects of smoking led to a few bloopers

Final Thoughts-Another solid episode, even if it is a bit flawed in its premise. Even though it doesn’t make sense, we believe George is getting smarter and Elaine is getting dumber.  The performances really sell it here. Very well done. Jerry’s story about being bumped is cute, and does lead to a really funny David Letterman cameo at the end. The real story here is Kramer and his decision to support smokers’ rights, until he sees what excessive smoke can do. The scene with Jerry in the kitchen is classic and Jackie Chiles gets a great appearance at the end. The final scene is Kramer on a billboard as the new Marlboro Man. Great moment in a strong episode.

 Grade=B+, premise is a little flawed but the writing works

Episode 10, Season 8

The Andrea Doria

  

Plot Summary-George battles a shipwreck survivor for a new apartment. Elaine dates a man who is bad at breaking up with women. Jerry assists Newman on his quest to be transferred while Kramer develops a cough but sees a vet rather than a traditional doctor.

Best Quote-“You know if the tenant board is so impressed with suffering maybe you should tell him the astonishing tales of Costanza. I mean you’re body of work in this field is unparalleled”….Jerry

Nitpick of the episode-Why Kramer would refuse to see a real doctor makes no sense to me. He does mention that the last doctor he saw botched his vasectomy and made him more potent, how does that happen?

Seinfeldism of the episode-Elaine’s boyfriend is a “bad breaker-uppper”, Jerry and Newman form an alliance

Deleted Scenes-None for this episode

Episode Fun Fact-This episode is set at Christmas, but the holiday has nothing to do with the stories

Final Thoughts-One of my favorite scenes of the season, if not the series, is the one where George is listing off the humiliating things that have happened to him over the course of the series. They make such a compelling case that George has gone through more misery than a shipwreck survivor, that it actually makes sense! Rather than seem to be offensive, since the Andrea Doria was a real incident, we buy the premise because after 7 years we have seen that George really does suffer. The rest of the episode is pretty solid too. It’s kind of fun to watch Jerry and Newman work together for once, and Elaine deals with a boyfriend who likes to insult people. Watching as she develops a complex over having a big head is well done. As for Kramer, once again leave it Michael Richards to take a silly story and make it funny. Kramer turning into a dog sounds like an idea that came up after a writer had one too many drinks, but somehow it works here.

 Grade=B, I try to like Kramer’s story but it’s not easy

Episode 11, Season 8

The Little Jerry

 

Plot Summary-Jerry bounces a check. The storekeeper refuses to take it down unless Kramer sells his rooster to him for a cock fight. George dates a prisoner and Elaine dates a man who shaves his head, but is upset when he discovers he is actually going bald.

Best Quote-“Occasionally I forget to let the machine pick up”…George (I like this line because I have done that myself)

Nitpick of the episode-I suppose this is a dumb question, but if Kurt shaves his head all the time is it really a big difference if he is actually bald?

Seinfeldism of the episode-dating a felon means no pop in and conjugal visit sex

Deleted Scenes-A deleted scene where Jerry and Elaine discuss the very subject I nitpicked about above

Episode Fun Fact-This episode had two roosters, one replaced the other

Final Thoughts-I am torn about this episode. It’s really not bad, but the whole cock fighting thing is kind of hard to take. Then that last scene, where Kramer dives in and is pecked by a rooster off-screen is just…..not funny. It’s one of those moments where I have no idea what the writers were going for, are we supposed to find it funny or horrifying? And roosters are one animal I don’t find very cute so the episode doesn’t win any points there (though the shot of Kramer walking Little Jerry is kind of funny). George mentioned in another episode that conjugal visit sex sounds like a cool idea, so here gets to experience it. He also helps Elaine’s boyfriend when he discovers he is balding. Jerry really has no story since the whole check thing was really meant to tie into the cock fighting story, and I never did buy the idea that Jerry would ever bounce a check. It’s clearly established that he has money to spare, what happened did he accidentally use check from an account he no longer had or something? And clown checks? Nope, not buying that one.

Grade=B-the rooster story tries too hard and ultimately fails

Top 5 Favorite Sitcom Teachers

The last couple months I talked a lot about how mothers and fathers are portrayed on sitcoms. But what about the professionals who work every day? Some characters on sitcoms are there to do a job, much like the example I will be discussing today. Ralph Kramden was a bus driver, Rob Petrie was a writer, Cliff Huxtable was an OBGYN, Jason Seaver was a Psychiatrist, Roseanne worked in factories and restaurants, and even Jerry Seinfeld was a stand-up comedian. Some professions transcend the sitcoms however, and become as important a part of the show as the parents. More so, in some cases. Today we look at sitcom teachers.

Teachers in sitcoms go all the way back to Our Miss Brooks which brought teachers to life as a radio program before it became a television show. TV is full of teachers who try to make a difference. I always love how much more fun the classrooms are, I don’t remember my school ever being that interesting.

Teachers have a long history on sitcoms as guest characters. In fact chances are if a show has kids in it then a teacher appeared on an episode or was even a recurring character in the series. One example is Punky Brewster, who had the teacher named Mike for one season. T.K.Carter played a real nice teacher who actually cared about his students and their problems. I always love how teachers in these shows get involved with the characters lives, when does that happen in real life? Sabrina had Mr.Kraft and Mrs. Quick. The Simpsons had Edna Crabapple. Doug’s sister is a PE teacher on The King of Queens. Several professors came and went on A Different World, some more memorable than others. Then you have The Wonder Years which had lots of teachers. Miss.White who Kevin had a crush on, Mr.Collins who was featured in one of the series best episodes, and Coach Cutlip who I know would not have a job in today’s world.

Then there are shows where a teacher is a main member of the cast. Those are the teachers we are focusing on today. Here is my top 5, and the only rule of this list is the characters have to be a title characters not just random supporting characters.

#5.Miss Bliss (Saved By The Bell aka Good Morning, Miss Bliss)

 

Before it was Saved by the Bell, it was Good Morning, Miss Bliss. I know it seems kind of odd to include her, the original show only lasted a year before it was retooled as Saved by the Bell. However, Hayley Mills did a good job making a memorable character. So much that they repackaged those episodes into the Saved by the Bell syndication package. What was great about Miss Bliss? She was very honest, and would go to any length to make a point. It was nice to see a teacher treat her students like intelligent people, not dumb kids.  I loved Saved By The Bell, but you can’t help but wonder what things would have been like it Miss Bliss had been given a longer run. The one constant in Saved By The Bell was Mr.Belding, the goofy principal from the early years right thru the agony of The New Class.

 

Analytical Episode Guide-Seinfeld (Season 8, Part 1)

An Analytical Episode Guide to :

 

Season 8, Part 1

As I said last week the big news as this season started was that Larry David would not be returning. This meant that Jerry Seinfeld was going to be in charge of the day to day production. So the question, would the show be the same? I hate to say it, but he answer is no. At least, not exactly the same. The first change was the elimination of the opening monologues since Jerry just didn’t have time to work on them anymore. Another change would be a direction toward more broad, slapstick kind of humor. I said that there were three phases to this series. Seasons 1-3 were the early years and they felt like it when you see the episodes, seasons 4-7 were the golden years when the show was at its best, and the last two seasons were the subpar years which had the show slowly deteriorate. So all in all, was this season really bad? That is the question we will be answering as we begin out look at the penultimate season.

Episode 1, Season 8

The Foundation

 

Plot Summary-Following Susan’s death, the Ross’s establish a foundation and make George the head of it. After Peterman has a breakdown, Elaine takes over the catalog. Jerry tries to figure out why no one buys his story about the end of his engagement, while Kramer takes up karate.

Best Quote-“KHHAANNN”….George mimicking the famous line

Nitpick of the episode-Isn’t there a board of directors at the J Peterman catalog to keep Elaine from running the company?

Seinfeldism of the episode-Elaine puts an odd hat called the Urban Sombrero on the cover of the catalog

Deleted Scenes-Elaine giving orders at the catalog

Episode Fun Fact-As a Star Trek fan, Ioved the references to Star Trek II and III littered through the episode.

Final Thoughts-Well, what can I say about this one? I guess I can’t blame them for following up on the least season’s final episode. George’s story when you come right down to it is showing him suffering from what happened to Susan. Honestly I would have preferred that whole thing just go away, reminding us of it doesn’t work. Maybe that’s why the foundation is only seen one or two more times. This episode is an example of the more silly stories that would pop up, as we see Kramer fighting children. I mean in what imaginary world would this be allowed? They even recreate the scene of Kramer being attacked in the alley from “The Sponge”, but this time the motivation for it is a little more sympathetic and since its kids we don’t mind as much. Elaine is back in evil bitch mode for the episode (though not as bad as “The Wait Out”).  I am on Jerry’s side when he knocks her ego down a peg, she deserved it. Jerry’s story is bland, I liked the quick end to his engagement and seeing “Mulva” again, but the story is still rather weak.

Grade=B-, only ok

Episode 2, Season 8

The Soul Mate

 

Plot Summary-Jerry and Kramer compete for the affections of the same girl. George suspects the foundation board thinks he killed Susan. Elaine meets a man who likes the same things she does.

Best Quote-“I once told a woman that I coined the phrase “pardon my french””…George

Nitpick of the episode-The tape story isn’t bad but the ending doesn’t add up. What they say happened to the tape doesn’t really correspond with the events that had been depicted when George played the tape, if it was just someone moving a chair and stumbling why did the voices sound so startled? If the tape stopped when the chair hit it, then why did George have to rewind it so long? And why didn’t the people in the room mention the incident to George when he came back in for briefcase? As I said, it doesn’t make sense.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Throat clearing as an indication of doubt

Deleted Scenes-None for this episode

Episode Fun Fact-We learn that Newman has feelings for Elaine (never made sense to me either)

Final Thoughts-This episode is a great example of the broad comedy that would begin in this series, with the scene of Jerry and Newman chasing each other in the hallway. I hated the story of Jerry and Kramer competing for the same girl. Why did they have to make it a competition? They could have told the same story with Kramer, making it a competition between the two was pointless. It just turns into another Cyrano story. Thank goodness we have George’s story, which is pretty good. The only bad thing is the end. Elaine’s story is pretty bland, all it really does is introduce to Kevin will have an important role in the following episode. And that vasectomy stuff? Ouch.

Grade=C+, George’s story is the only thing strong in this episode and even that fails in the end

Episode 3, Season 8

The Bizarro Jerry

 

Plot Summary-Elaine realizes that her friend Kevin is the exact opposite of Jerry. George uses a picture of Jerry’s girlfriend to infiltrate a model paradise. Jerry dates a woman with male-like hands. Kramer starts working.

Best Quote-”I can’t spend the rest of my life coming into the stinking apartment every ten minutes to pour over the excruciating minutiae of every single daily event”….Elaine basically summing of the premise of the shown

Nitpick of the episode-One question, what is Bizarro Elaine like?

Seinfeldism of the episode-Jerry’s date has man hands

Deleted Scenes-None for this episode

Episode Fun Fact-Kevin’s apartment is a mirror opposite of Jerry’s, right down to pasta rather than cereal and a Bizarro figure in the corner. My favorite is when the Bizarro Kramer brings food rather than taking it, brilliant! And of course Kevin is good buddies with their version of Newman.

Final Thoughts-Gotta be fair, and say this was a real funny episode. At this point the creators realized they could start making fun of themselves since they had been on so long. I hated that, I don’t want to see a parody of a coffee shop scene I want an actual scene! However this episode is an exception because it is really funny and well done. The Bizzaro Jerry is really the opposite, but the funny thing is watching Kevin and his friends make me really happy the show is about Jerry and co. I think the sitcom that would feature Kevin and his friends would be real boring! The scene where the two groups meet was surreal and very well done right down to the reversed color scheme on the clothes. Then you have Kramer going to work, and they get every laugh they can out of that idea. The scene where he is fired is really good. The indirect result of Kramer’s story is Jerry acting like the poor put upon housewife which is really funny. Jerry also gets the story of the woman with man hands, which is done pretty well. It’s obvious the hands we see in the close ups are a stand in, but the gag still works. George’s story is even good in this episode, as he gets into the model paradise only to blow it by accidentally destroying the picture. This is the first episode to show a regular gag where George calls Jerry, and Jerry pretends to not know is calling. George’s reaction is to yell at Jerry and slam the phone. Funny bit. Great episode! 

Grade= A, one of the seasons stand outs

Episode 4, Season 8

The Little Kicks

 

Plot Summary-Elaine horrifies her co-workers with her bizarre dancing. George enjoys being taken for a “bad boy”. Kramer’s friend bootlegs movies and gets Jerry involved.

Best Quote-“It was more like a full body dry heave set to music”….George describing Elaine’s dance

Nitpick of the episode-If I were Jerry I would have called the cops on Brodie, it certainly isn’t worth getting into trouble for. Though he does seem like a dangerous character, I certainly wouldn’t have anything to do with him.

Seinfeldism of the episode-Elaine’s odd dancing; George is the “bad boy”

Deleted Scenes-None for this episode

Episode Fun Fact-The last scene between Elaine and Frank took quite a few takes to get right

Final Thoughts-I give this episode credit for going the extra mile to make us think Elaine has always danced that way. We get a flashback where Julia Louis-Dreyfuss has a third season dress and hairstyle. Nice touch. The episode itself is, not too bad. Kramer’s friend is a little to real, to the point of being scary. That kind of spoils the episode since it isn’t funny. It is funny to watch George act like the bad boy to impress a girl. Then try to get the appeal back after Elaine kills it for him. As for Elaine and her dancing, there’s a reason why that dance is tattooed on people’s memories. It’s funny and, as someone who once thought he could dance but really can’t, a bit relatable.

Grade=B

Episode 5, Season 8

The Package

 

Plot Summary-George attempts to impress a woman at a photo store by having Kramer take seductive pictures of him. Jerry refuses to accept a suspicious package, which Uncle Leo signs for. Elaine learns she is considered a difficult patient.

Best Quote-“Oh, extra teeth I love that look”…Jerry

Nitpick of the episode-The scene with Uncle Leo at the doctor’s office is the dumbest; you mean the doctor really believes his drawn in eyebrows are real?

Seinfeldism of the episode-Jerry thinks he is “bombable” so he refuses the strange package

Deleted Scenes-Newman confiscating the photos

Episode Fun Fact-In an odd inconsistency, the stereo which is supposedly being shipped around the post office is still visible in Jerry’s apartment during those scenes.

Final Thoughts-What a dated episode! George’s story involves film which no one uses, and the whole medical chart thing is obsolete since most doctors where I go use laptops now. I never liked Elaine’s story, just the idea of a doctor avoiding helping a patient due to something written on a chart isn’t funny to me. The whole story seems to against the concept of doctors. It starts out ok but by the end it's just to silly and unbelievable. In real life you could sue the doctors in this episode the way they act.  I never understood the bit with Uncle Leo, I get the feeling they wanted to have him get bombed but changed their mind for obvious reasons. The payoff with George’s story is funny, although it isn’t a big surprise. I think this is yet another episode where Newman steals the scenes he is in, too bad he wasn’t on the show more often.Jerry doesn’t seem to have anything interesting to do, and neither does Kramer really after he takes the photos of George and gets Jerry into trouble by trying to scam the post office.

Grade=C-, Elaine’s story gets dumb

A Look at Sitcom Series Finales:The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

So let's talk about series finales of sitcoms. In the old days, the final episodes of series were nothing to remarkable. That started to change in the 70's as shows began using the final episode of series as an opportunity to thank the fans for watching the show all the years it was on. By the 90's, these episodes became events which included two hours episodes usually starting with a clip show, and tons of media hype. The bigger the show, the more the hype. Over the years some sitcoms have done this well, and others not so much. Today I thought I would look at some of the more famous series finale's and discuss why there were so good, others not as good, or in some cases the one's which are just a flat out disappointment.

Series finales do have to follow a few rules. One, something needs to happen in the episode which significantly alters some aspect of the show as a sign that the show as we know it is over. That is harder to do for family shows which are why a lot have the family selling the house or something. Two, there needs to be a surprise. Something unexpected has to happen. Three, there has to be a tearful goodbye among the cast which includes a laugh somewhere along the way. Finally, the final scene has to show the main member of the cast looking wistfully at the setting of the show before the credits role. Now of course these rules are not set in stone and a series may do some but not all.  The perfect example of these rules has to be Mary Tyler Moore. This show may have been the first to popularize the idea of a series final episode actually being a series finale. In the episode, the entire cast is fired (there’s your change), except Ted (there’s your surprise). The final scene is the cast huddled in a big hug saying goodbye (tear moment), they realize they need tissues and go get some never losing the huddle (laugh). The final moment is Mary taking one last look at the newsroom before turning and leaving, happy to have had the experience of working there at all, and the camera fades on the empty set. The best part, the episode wasn’t a bloated overhyped affair it was just a half hour like any other. Quite simply, a perfect final episode and a gold standard for others to follow.

Let’s talk about some others. I have already talked about many of these, so rather than bore you with plot synopses I will just give you my feelings about them. As always, this is just opinion.